tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76840655513714764612024-02-20T20:48:30.986-08:00We Heart MicahAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-87207606338000082152018-12-01T08:12:00.002-08:002018-12-01T17:30:28.512-08:00Year 7: Shedding My Skin<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm just going to dive right into this. No explanation or transition from a previous post needed. It's 10:30am Saturday, December 1st and I am here, ready to write. My heart is calling me to say this shizzz out loud. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"I Am Open To New Beginnings" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is my new mantra. I have changed. I am approaching my 7th year post loss and if you didn't know, the 7th year in the life cycle equates to CHANGE. Every cell in our bodies change. We change whether we like it or not. The past 7 months have brought SO MUCH CHANGE into my existence. I can't even explain the amount of growth I have made emotionally/spiritually. If that last word scares you, it's okay it's not for you, it's for me. For me, spirituality represents my connection to Micah/spirit/angels etc. This connection is deeper than any kind of love I think I will ever experience here in the physical world. There are no words for what my body physically feels when I see the simple shape of a heart. It's beyond me, it's out of this world, it's powerful, it's grounding, it's freeing, it's happiness, it's pain, it's spiritual, it's something I want everyone to experience, IT'S PURE LOVE. I just want to spread that shit errrywhere. Those hearts have been guiding me through this 7th year. Although I've already made a good amount of progress I still feel stuck in all of these large shifts. I have peeled a few layers of dead skin off but I still feel weighed down. It's because I am resisting change. I don't want it. I keep getting signs that point me in a certain direction and I question them. When have I ever been someone who questions a sign from Micah?! When those signs hit me, my imagination kicks in. I begin to creatively see my life going in a completely different direction buuuuuuuut then the fear kicks in. I keep telling myself, "Other people won't accept this new you, this isn't how you used to do things. Let's go back and stick to what has worked in the past. Let's stay comfortable. Let's not venture out and try new things because what if we fail? What if we aren't accepted or loved?" THIS IS NOT ME, nor is it who I strive to be. I am fearless. I am not scared of anything. I have been through worse. Why am I all of sudden listening to that weak voice? Moving my body through the physical pain of a workout has taught me to push beyond those mental barriers. But what lies under that fear is what is creating this blockage. It is so scary that even fearless Shush is terrified to tap into it. The proof of my fear is in my body. I am always so self aware of what's going on with it but for the last two months the fear has made me disconnect from it. Our subconscious holds onto everything. For me, there is trauma in there, there is pain, there is loss, there is heartbreak and there is abandonment. There is a massive build up of negative energy that needs to be released. But haven't I already dealt with all of that? It's been 6 years. Don't I have a grip on things now? If only grief were that simple and predictable. Grief is three c's thiccc, as my students would say...lol. It is deep deep deep down within us. I feel incredibly heavy because of it. I have literally gained weight. I have been able to maintain a healthy weight for years now, why is my body all of sudden failing me? Our bodies are beautiful. They tell us when something is wrong. It's not about the food or the workouts. It's a clear sign that negative energy is living and building within me and if I don't let it out, it will only get worse. Disease will follow. But I am struggling to find the courage to peel back another layer of my grief. I have anger. I feel like I've already successfully dealt with so many different stages of my grief. Why do I have to keep rehashing shit? Haven't I had enough? The answer is simple. THERE IS MORE TO LEARN. There are more layers than I thought. I need to better understand who I am supposed to become through this change. I need to LISTEN more. I need to give myself GRACE. I need to chill the f out. I need to pray on it. I need to LET IT OUT. Year 7 will consist of me shedding this old skin that has callused over the years. I am ready to connect with myself on a deeper level. Let's peel that shit back and see who this new Shush is <3 Who's with me? </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-91553509108774772022017-04-19T07:08:00.002-07:002018-12-01T06:50:04.331-08:00Life After The Storm<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUD66Cz2ASVukG_-8DV8qFtd6m0i2rtUjJI971mAX_6uyeBPar1z2HajgAS2GUYxpAGov5GG95z39qZtOa82usZ6Dks-ViyDPGL0mKsGoLBYl9QDR3G-R6MdLaLNqeCkmJNCpMQOz_y3k/s1600/Screen+shot+2016-04-10+at+1.40.29+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="31" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUD66Cz2ASVukG_-8DV8qFtd6m0i2rtUjJI971mAX_6uyeBPar1z2HajgAS2GUYxpAGov5GG95z39qZtOa82usZ6Dks-ViyDPGL0mKsGoLBYl9QDR3G-R6MdLaLNqeCkmJNCpMQOz_y3k/s320/Screen+shot+2016-04-10+at+1.40.29+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Miracles happen all around us. Some of us are blind to them. Some of us see them but don't REALLY see them. Being in tune with your body has a lot to do with whether or not you are open to receiving them. My definition of a miracle is when a moment occurs and something happens inside of your body. You are moved by this INTENSE sensation. It could be a smile, instant tears, a laugh or just pure happiness deep within you. For example, when Micah was born, the instant I heard her cry I cried. It was innate in me, I couldn't control it. It was the purest miracle I had every experienced. I had just heard the voice of my very own little being that I helped create and nurture into this world. No words for that feeling. If you have never paid attention to what brings you joy in life then it's about time you start. Write down a list of ten things that made you genuinely happy in the last 24 hours. You might be surprised to find that one of those 10 things could be seen as a miracle. Life goes on every single day. Our routines overpower our brains and we just GO GO GO. Through my experience, I have found that taking breaks and appreciating the small joys that come my way really enhance my day to day life. Things really start to spiral in a good way when I do that. Lately, I have been so overwhelmed by all of the positive things happening in my life that I struggle to journal about them because there is TOO MUCH to write. Say whaaaaaaaa?! Can you believe I just wrote that? Who am I? I always find a way to write shit down. What is happening to me?<br />
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I know what's happening...I am feeling so much, that I don't want to stop and write, I just want to keep feeling what I am feeling. This is a new kind of day to day life for me. For so long my grief controlled my every move in life and I had to grind to find happiness. I had to FORCE myself to see it and revel in it by writing it down so I wouldn't lose it. For the first time in a LONG time I don't feel a need to write. I don't fear the dark days anymore. I am not worried about the happiness fading. I am no longer feeling this desire to grind for it either. I just wake up happy. I never ever thought that would ever happen. I am fully aware that there will always be tough mornings, afternoons, days, minutes, months, weeks, etc. Buuuuuuuut right now I am happy and I just wanted to share it. <br />
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I know there are a lot of people out there that are going through their own tough experience. I want them to know that happiness is possible. I actually believe that when you have endured something traumatic, the happiness that follows is the deepest, most meaningful type this world has to offer. I am so grateful for my grief because..... HOLD UP....sorry I'm gonna take a quick break from writing to tell you that RIGHT NOW as I type this I am crying because a miracle just happened. I was about to type the next word and Micah's funeral song just came on my pandora and before I could even take a breath I had a tear streaming down my face. I am crying and laughing as I type right now because this is what life is about. This is a feeling that makes me FEEL ALIVE. It's proof that my body feels an energy that cannot be explained. The combination of joy and sadness combined into one expression is rare. It's special to all people that grieve any type of loss. I just had a physical, uncontrollable reaction to a tune playing on my computer. It's 9:47am on Wednesday, April 19, 2017 and I just experienced another miracle. Everything else in my life just becomes a blurry background in a crisp and clear photograph of Micah's face. My priorities get pushed to the front of my brain and I see my purpose in life clear as fucking day. Sorry for my language but I just feel so powerful with these words. I am meant for more. I am meant to share my experience on a bigger platform. I am meant to be breathing right now. I am meant to give all of this love I have in my heart to EVERYONE I encounter. I am meant to teach people HOW TO LOVE. I am meant to receive love. I am meant to open all of your eyes to the miracles that happen all around us. Once you begin peeling those eyeballs open you will start living the most meaningful life and the goods will show up on your doorstep. You will be a magnet that just sucks all great things your way. Before I end this I am going to finish my thought I had earlier before that miracle stopped me in my tracks. I was saying...I am grateful for my grief because... it woke me the F' up and forced me to really SEE me for who I am and what I am capable of. I still don't know the capacity of all that I will do in this world but what I do know is that right now, I AM HAPPY and EXCITED for what's to come! There ISSSSSSSSSSSSSS a light at the end of the tunnel, there ISSSSSSSSSSS a rainbow after the storm and learning to dance through it all is one way to go. Never stop dancing and open your eyes to the wonderul mircales that happen all around us. If I can do it, SO CAN YOU!!!<br />
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Micah and I have faith that you will endure.<br />
JUST KEEP GOING!<br />
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Here are some of my favorite miracles and moments that take my breath away...</div>
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I heart you Micah!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-54100806026755408572016-11-21T17:30:00.004-08:002016-12-04T10:42:23.835-08:00My Secret Healthy Life HackI'm finally sharing my secret to losing & maintaining weight, living a consistent healthy lifestyle and remaining mentally strong through emotional times. The answer is simple. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. <br />
<br />
I have read many self help books in the last 4 years and the one thing I've read over and over again is that you MUST do the small things every day in order to get "BIG" results. Each time I came across this topic I would have this moment where 10 light bulbs would go off in my head. I would be jumping out of my skin with excitement because before I read these books I had been doing everything they said to do. It was like someone was spying on my life and then wrote a book about it. I was documenting everything I did. At the time, I thought I was neurotic and crazy but apparently, these books were all the confirmation I needed to change that negative self-talk. I now feel empowered to help others find success in their own lives. I am confident that what I am sharing with you will transform your life day by day but you have to be CONSISTENT and PATIENT!<br />
<br />
In my darkest times I would write everything down. My thoughts, workouts, daily highlights, meals, special moments, etc. I was slowly digging my way out of that dark hole. I originally started documenting things because 1. it was therapeutic and 2. I always wanted to remember what I was feeling so that if I ever stumbled out of the darkness I would easily be able to recognize the signs/feelings that might bring me back down. If I had the dark feelings documented then I would be able to catch myself slipping and not fall. IT WORKED... to this day I still reread all of my daily journals/logs to keep me focused, motivated and to always remind myself of how far I've come. I get inspiration for future workouts, meal ideas, gift ideas, etc. <br />
<br />
Lately I've been trying to find more ways to help people find their own success in life. Whether it's fitness related or not. So I created this "Daily Grind" Fitness/Healthy Living Log/Journal Worksheet to do just that.(I clearly can't decide on a name for it...haha) This is exactly what I track on a daily basis. I can look back to 6 months ago and know exactly what workouts I was doing, who made me smile, what I was fueling my body with and what I was grateful for. It is THE ULTIMATE WAY to maintain a healthy and happy lifestyle. <br />
<br />
I just posted this "Daily Grind" Printable along with a "To Do List" on etsy.com to help hundreds of people find success in their own lives.<br />
<br />
I hope you will take the plunge and join in on the fun to help me HELP YOU! You will not regret it. START NOW... life is too short to be miserable, bloated, sad, depressed, sick, tired and just UNHAPPY majority of the time.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/478900840/daily-grind-healthy-living-fitness?ref=listings_manager_grid" target="_blank">Click here</a> and start transforming your life now!<br />
<br />
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"Think it, Write it, Remember it, Live it!" ~ Shushgirl</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-54448349826596439472016-10-23T16:54:00.000-07:002016-10-23T17:04:34.222-07:00Moving My Body Saved My LifeI cannot believe I did it. Holy moly I never ever ever ever thought I'd ever stand on Venice Beach, in front of a well known LA photographer, take my shirt off and begin posing for a photo shoot. Living list item #22: Photo shoot with Charlz Chalmers @charlzalexander on Venice Beach 7-22-16. CHECK!!!!<br />
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I am a SURVIVOR! Moving my body saved my life and these pics represent that. Grief can take you down some dark roads but just simply moving your body can bring you back to the well lit path. Focusing on the little things like picking up a weight, stepping forward, lunging and then stepping back was EXACTLY what my brain needed. I needed a break from the negative self talk. For 45 minutes my thoughts about Micah had dwindled. I had to focus on the simple movements and embrace the physical pain of lifting. That pain was nothing compared to the emotional hurt I was experiencing so it was actually enjoyable. I know... crazy right?! After one workout I was hooked. It felt so good to feel something different from what I was used to. Four years later I still get excited for each and every workout. It's what keeps me sane and feeling empowered. If I can hold 150lbs on my back, lower it and spring it back up with force then I can handle anything. I am so incredibly grateful for my arms, legs, back and core because they pushed my mind through some difficult times.<br />
Moving my body saved my life and these photos are not just photos of a fit girl in workout clothes on a beach. They are photos of a girl who woke up one day and decided to KEEP LIVING when most wouldn't. She represents LIFE AFTER LOSS! It is possible.<br />
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Life is full of miracles! You just have to be open to the enormous amount of possibilities all around us. We are creators. We are capable of so much more than we think or could even muster up with our imaginations. Go create the life of your dreams NOW and BE A GOOD PERSON!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-40437091587466506482016-04-10T10:15:00.001-07:002016-04-10T14:47:59.616-07:00"Solemate is Now Connected"Something incredible has just happened. I have spent the last 3 days listening to a book on my audible app. The book is called "The Light Between Us" by Laura Lynne Jackson. I find myself OBSESSED with books like this. The books I'm talking about are books that discuss crossing over to the other side, speaking to loved ones who have passed, receiving signs from them, and just hearing so many different stories about other peoples' tragic loss, along with the incredible love stories that follow. This specific book is about Laura Lynne who is an English teacher at a high school in New York but she has this secret life as a medium/psychic. She shares the story of her life and it is FASCINATING. I clung and anxiously awaited on every. single. word. that would come out of her mouth. I learned and cried and learned and cried. I felt like a sponge that couldn't get enough water. I felt like I could absorb an ocean. It only took me 3 days to listen to her 8 hour and 36 minute book. Because of her book I am sitting on my couch right now at 11:08am on Sunday morning on April 10, 2016 in silence listening to my washing machine washing away the saturated sweat covered workout clothes that I wore this morning at the gym. They might have also been tear covered clothes.<br />
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My workout this morning was beyond wonderful. I walked for 50 minutes at the highest incline at a speed of 3.0mph. The walking wasn't necessarily the best part of my workout, although my butt will for sure thank me later. The part that was so great was that I spent about a total of 30 minutes sobbing as I walked. The words and stories that I heard in this book were just hitting every part of my emotional grieving self. I connected on so many levels with this author and her stories of helping "the grieving" heal. I felt like she was healing me just through her book. I wish I could better portray the effect this book has had on me. I just can't put it into words but what I will share, that might make those little hairs on your arms stand up, is this incredible moment that has just happened to me only 20 minutes ago.<br />
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Here we go...<br />
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I have goals. They are bold. They are big. They are scary as shit but that is what I love most about my goals. If they don't scare you to pieces then they aren't big enough. I am terrified to tell people about them because that little voice in my head will creep in and tell me "you won't ever do that or pshhh... yea right Shush, you're crazy." But what I've found is that the more I open up and share my goals out loud the closer I get to achieving them. <br />
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So here they are: <br />
1. I want to be a fitness model. I know so superficial right?!? But NO, that's not what I mean. I see it differently than just having a shredded body on a cover of a magazine promoting the best ways to get the body of your dreams. I have a different vision. I have this clear picture in my brain of me being on the cover of something with a strong body and even stronger message. The words that will surround my body on this cover will be about how I have endured some tough things in life and how eating healthy and being fit has SAVED ME! It will be a story of survival, growth, LOVE, healthy living, connecting with others to heal and so much more. So that's my first goal.<br />
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2. I want to share my story on a huge platform. I am not sure what this entails but I get excited every time I think about it. I just know I am supposed to continue sharing Micah's story and spreading this awareness for having compassion for others for we have NO IDEA what their story is.<br />
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3. I want to travel the world with my soulmate. I just want to experience all parts of the world before I leave it. I have a new appreciation for life ever since Micah was born and I am itching HARD to get out and see every inch.<br />
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4. I want to be on The Ellen Show, sitting in that white chair next to her. Not sure what I'll be talking about but I just know I will meet her one day and we will hug. It will be a powerful moment for me because she was one the few people in this world that could make me laugh through my grief. I am grateful for her. She made me forget about my sadness for an hour every single day. I OWE HER ONE!<br />
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4. My last goal is something that I didn't necessarily come up with on my own but it's been told to me so many times that I've just started believing that I should do it. When people tell you things over and over again you start to listen and really see what they're talking about. When I started this blog almost 4 years ago I was told for THE FIRST time in my life that I am a talented writer (specifically story telling). I NEVER EVER thought I was a good writer. I was horrible with reading comprehension and expressing my thoughts to people. Therefore, I just assumed I was awful at putting my thoughts on paper. It's funny because one of my biggest frustrations in life is when people misunderstand me but when I'm writing I am able to express my thoughts and feelings without any doubt that they might misinterpret. When I write I can revisit my sentences and read them from the perspective of my audience and feel what I am expressing, making it super easy for me to be UNDERSTOOD. I LOVE IT! So my last goal is to write a book one day about my love story for my daughter. I have so so so much to tell. Although because I have so much to tell it is really overwhelming to even start. <br />
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BUT here I am, starting. =) Yes, that is what I am doing here on this blog, blogging away again. I have been guided to this very seat on my couch, macbook pro on my lap, listening now to the beeping of my finished washing machine, and feeling excited about what's to come. The reason I say I was guided here is because the minute I sat down on this couch I received THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE sign. (this is the incredible thing that I mentioned in the beginning of this post)<br />
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About 4 hours ago I was on the treadmill crying and asking Micah to send me a sign of what to do next. I have been struggling with the fact that I have these HUGE goals that I set months and months ago and the only action I take every day to reach them is working out. Getting stronger is just one part of my 4 major goals. I've been desperately searching for the next steps towards my other goals but nothing was happening. How the heck was I going to share Micah's story on a bigger platform? How was I going to write a book? When will I meet my soulmate to travel the world with? It was all so overwhelming. After listening to that book this weekend I have been trying to really open my eyes up for more signs and "pulls" towards the path that I am supposed to be on. I've been going to different places and stepping out of my comfort zone hoping things will pop up or hoping Micah will send me a sign that will spark some inspiration. So as I walked and cried this morning I told Micah that I surrender. I trust that she will lead me to where I am supposed to go and I will no longer try to force things to happen. Can I just tell you how BIG SHE DELIVERED!?! I was in the shower thinking about my day and what I was going to do. How I have to go to my Rowan field hockey alumni game later today but I didn't want to because it was so flipping cold and I just wanted to stay home and watch the Masters golf tournament on TV. I was also thinking that I just wanted to sit on the couch and reflect about the book I just finished. It had made me so emotional that I had to take everything in and maybe write down some of my overwhelming thoughts from the last 3 days. Well, I get out of the shower, put my mascara on because I'm naked without it, threw my favorite PJs on, turned my TV off, sat on my sectional, grabbed a blanket, a pad of paper, a pen and I began writing. I wrote two huge paragraphs one dated 4/9 and one dated 4/10. By the time I finished the second paragraph my hand hurt(what a wuss) and I remember thinking, "You idiot, just type this shit. You are such a fast typer and you think even faster so your thoughts will flow a whole lot easier." Then I thought, "maybe I'll blog about it?" So I grabbed my laptop from behind me on my desk, unplugged it from the charger, opened it up and immediately went to wehearmicah.blogspot.com. I typed in my username for google blogger and before I could tab down to type in my password I heard something from upstairs, "Solemate is now connected." (I am crying again now as I type this because it was so FREAKING AMAZING.) I had just listened to one of Laura Lynne's stories on my way home from the gym about how our loved ones LOVE to use electricity to communicate with us and if we are not open to it then we might miss those signs. My bluetooth speaker was on during my entire shower, as I always jam out to music while I get ready and I definitely turned it off before I came downstairs to write. (side note: my speaker has the same durability as a sneaker sole so it is called "solemate") But as I sat there about to enter my blog and begin writing, there was that voice, clear as day, "Solemate is now connected!" My head popped up immediately, I was in SHOCK. "Did that just turn on by itself? OMG...Laura Lynne's book. They communicate through electricity. Micah!!!!!" All of those thoughts were streaming through my brain. I could not believe it. If I hadn't turned off the TV I would have never heard it. I know it was Micah communicating with me. She was telling me "Yes mom! You are supposed to write. You are a great writer and I want you to tell more people about me and you and how much we love each other. I want you to share how people that pass away are always with us just like this scenario." I was BLOWN away. My cry was uncontrollable for at least 3 minutes. I was also laughing at the fact that I always call Micah my soulmate and I feel like I use that term A LOT. I think it's so cool that she chose to use my solemate speaker to communicate with me. I just was so THANKFUL and just ... I don't know even know. I'm still in shock. That was one of the most memorable moments of my life. She made that speaker turn on to tell me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. In that moment, I could feel her cheering me on as I began to type.<br />
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As I typed and typed things became even clearer. Then I discovered this...<br />
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All of my goals can all be achieved in one simple way... A BOOK! This is how...<br />
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I will write a book. I will be on the cover(fitness model) of my book expressing my physical and emotional strength through my photo. I will travel the world sharing my book and my story. I will be on The Ellen Show because she will have heard about my love story. I will have made Micah proud by doing my best to CHANGE THE WORLD with this small but powerful message: "You might be one person in this world but you might be the world to one person!" Micah is the world to me and I am dedicating my life to her by going out and being the world for other people who may need it. PAYING IT FORWARD.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYxmsu4_ieFLIdLpjseUCDG_a_ZRmW5qxT1eOoPTlzEYuDqfMk43T8fN-leHOUhgi7e1dSobZIITqBhU9Ioy2d6T4nCBBzfAYVe-jXOsqp_V3hvPKCcrtvXdiFYGWG4HXk4s54EA4Z-kM/s1600/Screen+shot+2016-04-10+at+1.40.29+PM.png" imageanchor="1"></a><br />
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GOALS COMPLETED! Powerful shit right there! I am fully aware that my goals could change and my vision could be just a guide to something even bigger. Who knows?! But today will be a day I never forget. I was able to discover what my next step should be... blogging again.<br />
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I am grateful for my path, my love, my soulmate Micah, my ability to be open to her signs, and Laura Lynne Jackson for sharing her story, helping me heal, and showing me how to open up. <br />
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Side note: I got an email at 10:45am saying that my Rowan Alumni game has been canceled. THANKS MICAH! <3 Now I can keep on writing.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-44126354979234572552014-11-22T17:12:00.002-08:002014-11-22T17:16:31.927-08:00My Battle with Food, Depression, and Finding Balance.<div style="text-align: left;">
I have experienced more life in the past 2 years than I have in my entire 32 years on this earth. I have learned so much about myself and how I want to spend the rest of my life walking this earth. Below is a short list of things I have learned that are important to me and who I am today and who I want to be in the future. I am going to take a few things from this list and elaborate on them later in this post but first I want to share these life changing lessons.</div>
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1. I am breathing and that is a reason to smile.</div>
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2. Pain is bearable and there is nothing to be scared of. Therefore...</div>
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3. I am fearless</div>
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4. I love so much deeper than the average person because I have no fear</div>
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5. My ability to recognize someone else's pain and to nurture them is INCREDIBLE</div>
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6. I will never save a space for someone in my life that brings me down. Not even for a second. </div>
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7. Food should be used as fuel for our bodies but it is VERY important to ENJOY what you are fueling your body with. (being able to acknowledge the difference between eating for enjoyment and eating to soothe pain was huge for me) </div>
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8. Giving to others and not expecting anything in return is THEEEEEE most rewarding thing we can do as humans</div>
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9. Being vulnerable draws in human connection ( I blogged about this one <a href="http://weheartmicah.blogspot.com/2014/10/being-vulnerable-being-connected.html" target="_blank">here</a>)</div>
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10. Finding balance between work, play, loving yourself, eating, exercising, and family is #1. Without balance I fall apart, which means I must include all of the above in my every day life...NO EXCEPTIONS. </div>
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11. Being active and sweating each day is a MAJOR part of my happiness ( I will never stop)</div>
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12. I believe life will be grand because I trust myself to make it that way. </div>
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13. My faith in everything keeps growing stronger </div>
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For the remainder of this post I want to share my battle with # 7 on my list. FOOD!!!! Believe it or not, it is one of the most important tools to help battle grief. I never knew food played such an incredible role in our emotional well being. It affects our moods, our brains, our activity levels, how we treat others, whether we sleep well, and most importantly our feelings. In the beginning of my 2 year struggle(Jul-Sept '12) I didn't think twice about eating. I had just had my daughter and soon lost her, so food was the last thing on my mind. I would go through my days so preoccupied with the sadness that food was only important when my body told me I was hungry. I wasn't overeating or under eating, I was just surviving and eating intuitively(listening to my body's hunger signals). Prior to that I was always a healthy eater but not one of those organic healthy eaters. I liked to eat salads and low calorie meals. I would also meal replace with the things I loved, if I was in the mood for them so I wouldn't overeat. (ex: ice cream, cheese curls, gummy candy, etc.) I was also very active and always into sports. There was never a time when I wasn't sweating my butt off at a field, court, or gym, even throughout my adult years. When I started working out again post pregnancy/loss(Oct. '12) I got introduced to the primal (paleo) lifestyle. I read a couple of books about it and I was hooked. I was ready for a distraction. This way of life intrigued me because it's focus was on how processed foods could lead to depression and how we as Americans are all addicted to sugar. </div>
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Number 1: I was a confessed sugar addict so to read stories about how sugar was poison to our bodies completely freaked me out and made me want to change. </div>
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Number 2: I had just experienced probably the toughest thing I will ever go through, so why not make it easier on myself and NOT take those slippery steps and risk falling into a depression. (which I had a 99% chance of doing anyway but I was determined not to) </div>
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After seeing Micah pass I just wanted to be as healthy as possible. I didn't want anymore heartache in my life. I wanted to take every precaution so that I could one day have healthy children and have the family I've always wanted. Being healthy became my new passion/obsession. </div>
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About 7 months later I had dropped all of my baby/grief weight and then some(about 40lbs). By June 2013 I was the lowest I had ever been in my entire young adult life. I was around 130 lbs and feeling AMAZING. I was only working out 3-4x/wk and eating just the way my trainers told me to. I was counting my macros in my "lose it" app and I was fueling my body just the way the books said. My skin was clear, I was sleeping so well, I loved how my clothes were fitting, I was waking up every day excited to go to work but the only problem was I wasn't ENJOYING the food. I would eat and feel great but the process of eating lost it's enjoyment. I didn't feel like I could go out with friends and enjoy life because, what restaurants in NJ had organic meats and vegetables? If I lived in California, that would be a whole different story. I went there for spring break and I remember driving about 10 miles and not seeing 1 fast food place, instead every corner had an organic juice bar or restaurant. It was awesome but that wasn't my reality. I wanted to live and still feel like I had the freedom to eat like everyone else but I was torn because I also loved how I felt. I wasn't depressed, I woke up every day loving myself, feeling great in my own skin for the first time in my entire life and to accomplish that feeling in one of the worst years of my life was SO REWARDING. I had come to a cross roads with my new passion. Did I really want to be THIS healthy and not enjoy life? Was having this perfect body more important than making memories with friends and family? Life is short and I was starting to feel like my priorities were all out of whack. (meanwhile I am still grieving through all of this) I NEEDED TO FIND BALANCE but I didn't know it at the time, my focus was just on feeling good and looking good. I felt like if I looked good and felt good then my reality would go away. It could be as if I was never pregnant and never experienced losing my baby. I wasn't addressing the real issues. </div>
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Of course, I started questioning all of this right around Micah's 1st birthday(July 13, 2013). Talk about bad timing, I was on the verge of spiraling out of control. The upcoming emotions I was about to feel along with the pizza, cake, and ice cream I was about to eat was the deadliest combination. I had signed up to do a mud run on Micah's birthday so of course the plan was to devour food afterwards and splurge because it was such a HUGE day filled with so many different emotions. I had been so cool and steady for the past 7 months, that I was bound to break. I wasn't completely addressing the grief. I was keeping myself distracted with staying on track with my health and fitness goals. Once I allowed the sugar and processed foods back into my life all hell broke loose. I finally let go of my goals and the sadness poured itself back into my life. I then became addicted to sugar again and it was worse than ever because my body had been without it for sooooooo long. I found myself crying every single day. I had such highs and lows. My goals were SHOT, I was coming to terms with the fact that I DID have a baby and she is no longer here, I am no longer with Bill (my best friend), my body was starting to change, WHAT THE HECK was I supposed to do with all of those feelings during the summer time with NOTHING to distract me? The food absolutely caused this and made my grief that much worse. Depression had set in.</div>
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My body was freaking out. My hormones were out of control. I was craving sugar like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't stop thinking about food. It was uncontrollable. I eventually lost my menstrual cycle because of my stress levels. I just LOST IT ALL. Everything I had worked for was gone. I thought I was this strong girl who could overcome anything because of how I handled my first year post loss but I felt so defeated, embarrassed, ashamed, and just DEPRESSED. Boom!!! There I said it. My goal was to never be depressed and now I was the epitome of a depressed women who lost her child. I felt weak. January '14 rolls around and life just wasn't getting any better. I had put on 15 lbs, back to my pre-pregnancy weight which was unacceptable, winter had set in and we were having snow day after snow day and I was just feeling like I couldn't do it anymore. I broke down and decided to get a little help with an anti-depressant. I was now on the birth control pill(to help get my period back) and an anti-depressant. Who was I? I have never been someone to take medicine so for me this was a big deal. I stayed on both meds for about 8 months. In those 8 months I started to eat better, I started dating someone, I had never stopped working out but I did start to look at working out as a punishment, so that become another mental struggle. Throughout those 8 months I was determined to find a way to get my PERFECT body back. I was so fixated on how I felt when I was at my lowest back in June '13. I was so happy but yet I wasn't living. I then began to search for balance. I researched as much as I could and tweaked my macros (carbs, fats, and proteins) a million different ways trying to find the best way to lose weight, FEEL GOOD, enjoy the food, and keep it off. I did drop a few pounds but then I went through another tough break up in Jul '14 which in turn caused another cycle of SUMMER DEPRESSION. </div>
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FYI... I now look forward to winter because I freaking dread my summers. Again...WHO AM I? I never thought I'd ever say I dread summer. Another indicator that I am still in a deep depression. </div>
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Fast forward to October 2014. I am back to work, I began blogging again, I have sat down and processed everything I've been through. I am dealing with my grief every day, I am no longer focusing on my body or food because I now see that was a coping mechanism. My new focus is on finding BALANCE. Once I stopped the obsession with comparing myself to that body I had a year ago I began living again. I stopped taking all meds this past October and I finally got my menstrual cycle back after not having it for a year and 3 months...Yay for me! I just finished reading a book called "Intuitive Eating" which has SAVED my life. I highly recommend it for anyone who has ever set a weight loss goal. It's MIND BLOWING how much that book has completely changed my mindset. I will never diet again and I will eat whatever I want whenever I want and I already HAVE the body of my dreams. The size of that body does not matter one bit because I am blessed with a functioning body. AMEN!!!!! </div>
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How I eat/live now: </div>
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3. I still try and JERF(just eat real food) 3 out of my 5 meals in a day</div>
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4. I do NOT count macros or calories</div>
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5. I listen to my body's hunger signals</div>
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6. I still try to balance my carbs pre and post workout because I know how to fuel my body now</div>
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7. I workout to feel good and I only do workouts that I WANT to do</div>
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8. I no longer do cheat meals, re feed days, or splurges. If I am craving something I eat it but it doesn't mean I eat TONS of it. Moderation is key. Even if that means eating processed food every day, I will do it in moderation as long as I still feel okay after eating it. </div>
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9. I pay attention to my feelings and acknowledge them. I no longer soothe them with distractions. </div>
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10. I am a balancing act and I love it. </div>
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Your food choices affect your EVERY DAY life. You have a choice to feel good. Life is too short to be miserable every single day. Appreciate what your body can do instead of making exercise a punishment to look a certain way. DO NOT eat past satiation just to soothe something that deserves YOUR attention immediately. Address those feelings because you are worthy of happiness. Fuel your body with REAL FOOD and you will feel good. I have found BALANCE and I know it will be work for the rest of my life but my happiness is worth it. </div>
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I heart BALANCE!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-52243091656247121622014-11-07T14:40:00.004-08:002014-11-07T14:45:04.941-08:00Love of My LifeI've talked about Micah being the love of my love many times and how I am so lucky to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It is such a strange concept and some days I feel completely different about it. One minute the pain is awful and I think, " I hate this and I want it gone" but then the next minute I think about Micah never being here and that's just wrong to think or even say out loud. Every day is SOOO different but the tough days are definitely fewer and far between. Today is one of those tough days. More like a tough few hours. I try not to let it last all day. So here is what I'm feeling today...<br />
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Feeling that deep internal love for someone that you created is ...well...just....the most powerful thing a human can feel. On the reverse side of things it is also the most painful thing to feel when we lose that precious miracle. We dreamt of a future for them, we wanted to give them everything we never had. We lost all of those hopes and dreams for who they might become, we lost the chance to hear them laugh or see them smile, we will never know what they would have been like as a child, a teenager, and an adult. The pain of that kind of loss can't be measured on a scale of 1 to 10. It can't even be put into words. It is a deep cut into your soul and dulls everything around it leaving you lifeless. The pain I feel RIGHT NOW is unbearable, it makes me not care about anything in my life. Everything is meaningless, it's hopeless, I'm hopeless, the world just doesn't matter anymore. How can the pain be so bad if not worse 2 years later?(perfect example of why you should never put a timeline on someone's grieving process-click <a href="http://weheartmicah.blogspot.com/2014/10/tips-on-how-to-talk-to-grieving-parent.html" target="_blank">here</a> to read about that) Who gives a crap about working out, eating healthy, making money, buying clothes, decorating houses, spending time with other people's kids, listening to other people's problems? Every second of every day I want to be doing something different than what I am actually doing. I want to be hugging and kissing MY baby. I want to be raising her to be the most amazing human ever. There isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think about doing that. I find myself crying on my couch and wanting desperately to reach for comfort from someone. Maybe text my sisters, or my best friend, or even Bill? But none of that sounds appealing but yet I still just want to be held. What else can I do? I can't breathe. I can't move. I'm shaking. I'm alone. How do you cope with this? I know what I want and what I need but I can't have it, at least not for a really long time. I want the love of my life back. I want to breathe again. I want Micah. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-78925744629166956422014-10-19T11:57:00.004-07:002014-10-19T12:32:16.859-07:00Being Vulnerable = Being Connected One of the items on my dream board is to always share my story. I included that because I have come to realize that it is a CRUCIAL piece to my healing process. For about 6 months, I wanted to forget my story and erase my past. That was probably one of the deadliest thoughts I could have ever had. It was the grief talking. I wanted to run away and start all over. After I came to and realized my story is apart of me and who I am, all kinds of doors opened. I found myself talking about Micah more and talking about my grief, which in turn made me feel alive. I found that spark inside myself again. By the way, those doors didn't open by themselves either. I put myself out there, I shared my vulnerability, I shared my anger, and in return I unlocked every door that was keeping me trapped in that dark room I like to call HELL. The minute I stopped sharing my story I turned that key, locked myself in that room and STOPPED living. I have no doubt that so many other parents are doing the exact same thing. I am writing this now in hopes that ONE grieving parent will read this and have the strength to set themselves free. <br />
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Our children are our entire lives. They are why we wake up every morning, they give us strength to get through the tough days, they keep us grounded and make us realize that any insignificant life issues we face will slowly fade away when we walk through that door and see their smiling face running towards us screaming " Mommy" or "Daddy." Those are the moments we live for. As grieving parents we need to hold onto those moments and keep talking about them. As long as we do that, they will always be here and we are the ones that have to keep their spirit strong. If we don't then who will? <br />
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Connection is why we are here on earth. We are neurobiologically wired to seek connection with other humans. Connection gives us purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame is the fear of disconnection. No one wants to talk about it and the more you don't talk about it the more you HAVE IT. The shame a grieving parent feels is excruciating. It's not the shame you are thinking of. (ie: an alcoholic might feel shame for the choices they've made in the past). I can't speak for everyone grieving but I feel ashamed of the fact that I am an outcast. I feel like a freak some days. I don't feel connected. I feel ashamed of most of my emotions because I'm not sure if they are normal.(whatever normal is anyway) We feel like if people find out about our shame we won't be worthy of connection. We feel like we are doomed. The idea of being "seen" is terrifying but in order to reconnect with humans again we have to be SEEN. Being seen means being vulnerable.<br />
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I've learned there is nothing to feel ashamed of. It is completely normal to be vulnerable and to feel weak because LOOK at all we've lost. We lost our lives essentially. We lost that spark that was lit when our children were born. We lost those special moments to look forward to. We don't have those smiles and hugs to share at the end of every day. But if we don't open up and expose ourselves then we will never be able to connect with the world again and we will never FEEL again. We have to break out of that dark room by sharing our story. We are responsible for keeping our spirits alive along with the spirits of our children. In doing so, we just might help change the lives of EVERYONE around us and how awesome would that be to know that lives all around us are changing for the better because of OUR son or daughter's legacy. That right there is called CONNECTING, INSPIRING, EMPOWERING, and most of all LIVING. Let's make our short time here on earth the very best it can be. We can't let the darkness suck us in.<br />
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I know for a fact that Micah has changed hundreds of lives. Last Wednesday(Oct. 15th) was "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day." That will be a day I will never forget. I stepped out of my way for a moment and allowed myself to be vulnerable. I didn't hide from the world and light my own candle in the sad darkness I had been living in. I took a risk and invited all of my friends and family(hundreds of people) on social media to join me in the celebration on that special day. The amount of people that participated in the "wave of light at 7pm" in memory of Micah and many other angels was INCREDIBLE. My phone was blowing up all night, through the night, and into the morning. I felt like Micah was alive again. I felt like I had just given birth to her and everyone was congratulating me. I was bringing her to life again and it felt so good. I can't even explain the feelings that flooded my body. I LET MYSELF BE SEEN! I wasn't afraid. I realized in that moment that I am so grateful to be able to experience such deep, passionate connection and LOVE. Some people walk this earth and never experience this GREAT LOVE. This is why being vulnerable and sharing your story will change YOUR life and the lives of everyone around you. It is why we are here on this earth. Don't be scared to feel again. I know it is a risk but I have told myself over and over again that I would never trade my story for the world. Would you trade yours? Micah and I are theeeeee most powerful act of love that I will ever experience. I want the world to see it = I want to CHANGE THE WORLD!<br />
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Some pics from Oct. 15th</div>
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My great friend Alyssa and her husband Dennis were there to light a candle with me along with my mom and my other angel momma friend, Bethann(not pictured). </div>
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These are some posts from my family lighting their candles for Micah! </div>
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My sister Holly's 4 kids:</div>
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Anna-7</div>
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My brother's daughters: </div>
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Kasey - 10</div>
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My brother Dave and his girlfriend Stacy lighting their candle all the way from Arizona while on a work/vacay trip. </div>
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My sister Julie lit her candle along side Micah's handprints <3</div>
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I want to give a HUGE thank you to everyone that posted, emailed, or texted pics of their beautifully lit candles in memory of Micah. I am so grateful for all of you taking the time to share your love. I feel connected with the world again, I feel like I have a purpose and I have my vulnerability to thank for that. Even if you have never lost a child, you can benefit from exposing yourself to other humans. The minute we start sharing is the minute we start living. <br />
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Happy Sunday =)</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
WE HEART MICAH</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-32570243852739947772014-10-05T09:44:00.000-07:002014-10-07T16:24:51.776-07:00Tips on How to Talk to a Grieving Parent<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">"I've been surprised by people's genuine kindness and empathy as much as I've been repeatedly shocked and disappointed by their lack of it."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">This is a quote from a recent article that I read, which was written by a mother, Samantha Hayward, who had also lost her child. She wrote the article in hopes to help educate our society on how to address grieving parents. The subject is so taboo and there is clearly not enough literature on how to handle the topic or talk to a parent that is suffering the horrific loss of his/her child. I'm assuming that it is not talked about because others do not want to open that door for fear of what lies behind it. The pain is something they never ever want to feel or even want to try to think about. It's as if they FEAR the FEAR. This article really made me feel like I wasn't alone. Samantha made me see that there are so many other parents going through exactly what I'm feeling. (annnnnnnnd it makes me so sad to even type that sentence because that just means so many other children have left this earth way too soon...UGHHHH Why? Why do children have to die? It is not okay.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">After crying a whole lot and processing that article, I decided to take Samantha’s 10 tips and modify them to fit me and my personal opinions on the topic. She talks a lot about the things people would say or not say and how they both could hurt her feelings and ultimately lead to the end of some relationships. We all know that NO ONE intends to say the wrong thing to a grieving parent, but sometimes it may be better to say nothing at all. I understand that knowing when to say something, when not to, and what to say in this situation can be quite confusing. So, here are a few tips to help you decide whether to bite your lip or when and how to show the perfect amount of affection to a loved one who is grieving the loss of a child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">My tips: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">1. Please stop with the comments about how lucky I am to even have gotten pregnant in the first place. Of course it was a blessing, believe me I know what kind of miracle it is to conceive, carry, and give birth to a healthy baby, but must you throw it in my face that I "should" be feeling grateful when I just had to make a decision on whether to bury or to cremate my first and only baby? Also, for parents that have other children, I am sure that it hurts just the same when someone says how lucky you are to have your other children to come home to, as if that makes it easier to deal with such a loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">2. There are still some times that I just need to take a day off from work and hide from the world, which I just did a couple weeks ago. Please don't assume that I've thrown in the towel or I've lost my mind because "it's been 2 years now and I shouldn't be calling out of work” or even WORSE, be so thoughtless to wonder "what's wrong?" Good LORD I would love to rage at someone when they ask me that! Like, are you serious?! My kid is dead, gone, like no longer on this earth and you are wondering why I'm crying or why I can't come to work? </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 17px;"> The ignorance blows my mind sometimes. S</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 17px;">o please don't assume that because two years have gone by that I should be "better" at dealing with my grief. I'm anticipating that I will still need some mental health days 5 years down the road and there is nothing wrong with that so please be aware that your loved ones have the freedom to grieve whenever and however they need to. It does not mean they've gone off the deep end. It's normal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">3. Grieving for a child lasts a lifetime. If you are wondering when your friend or loved one who has lost a child will eventually stop grieving, STOP RIGHT THERE. There is no such time. It is FOREVER and please recognize that and tell them they are allowed to grieve to the end of time or until they are able to see and hug their child again. (I recently told my hair dresser my story and one of the first things she said to me was that exact line about "grieving until the end of time." I just had to hug her when she said that because she made me feel incredible. I felt free from judgment as soon as she said that. THANKS AGAIN ELAINE.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">4. The loss of a child can destroy a relationship instantly. Bill and I split 8 months after Micah had passed, and it was so incredibly hard to adjust to that new life. The thought of not being with the two most important humans in my life, for the rest of my life, was so UNBELIEVABLE. I felt like someone just took a bulldozer to my perfectly framed home that I had spent months/years building, and not to mention, I was about to decorate the shit out of that house with love, laughter, memories, and so much more. POOF! GONE! Even though relationships end, it doesn't mean that all ties must be severed. I mean how could you NOT talk to the ONE person on this earth that went through something so horrific with you. It's kind of like when someone saves your life, and you are forever connected to that person because in that sc</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 17px;">ary moment he/she was by your side in your most vulnerable moments. Same thing happens when two parents lose a child, especially when they both hold their baby as she takes her last breath. It is a bond so tight that no one, not even God could break. Bill and I will always be there for each other. PERIOD. So please stop with the weird looks or the assumptions that Bill and I are getting back together or maybe the thoughts that one of us is leading the other one on. STOP. We are not getting back together and we CAN text, call, and see each other as much as we would like. We understand each other’s pain, and we want to grieve together some days. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">5. Acknowledging Micah's birthday or the anniversary of her death the first year she was gone was incredibly heartwarming and touching, but when you don't bother to acknowledge it year after year ( in my case the 2nd year) it is completely gut wrenching. It makes me feel like I should get used to nobody acknowledging the fact that I did spend 9 months pregnant, I did go through a long inducing process to end up having a c-section, I did have a beautiful daughter, and I did spend hours upon hours at CHOP taking care of my baby. That all HAPPENED and I'll be damned if I don't honor her life every single year. This is one of those cases that saying something is much better than not!! Acknowledging and celebrating my child on her birthday is essentially what every parent would hope for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">6. Feeling left out. I do notice when I don't get invited to certain dinner dates, events, or outings. Don't think that I haven't noticed the few people that dwindled away and couldn't handle the work it might take to stay along for the bumpy ride with me. I understand it is WORK to be friends with me now, I am not always a walk in the park, but I also don't deserve to be pushed aside because you are tired of my grief. Really??? Is your life so hard and busy that you can't make time for me anymore? Don't try and be friendly in the future because it's obvious what kind of friend you are. One not worth having. Good friendships are just as important as a marriage. For better or worse. They take work, effort and do not sustain themselves. If that seems like too much for you, then see you later…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">7. Please don't say "I want the old Michelle back." Believe me, I want the old Michelle back, too, but that will NEVER happen and coming from anyone else, but me, sounds like a complete insult. It's as if I am currently not cutting it for your high standards, and if the old Michelle isn't coming back, then I guess you won't be hanging around any longer. My entire world got flipped upside down and left in a million pieces. Therefore, it is going to take me some time to put everything back into NEW SPOTS. At the same time, try not to forget that in the midst of all of that, I am grieving TWO losses: my daughter's life and my own, because I no longer recognize who I see in the mirror each day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">8. Please include me in mommy convos! Do not be afraid to ask me or include me in conversations about my pregnancy, birth story or things Micah did as a baby. I constantly hear other mothers sharing their stories with their other "mother" friends and for some reason, I am never included in those conversations, even though I am sitting right there. It hurts so much when I am left out of those conversations. It makes me feel like I am NO LONGER A MOM, which is not the case. Those conversations are definitely triggers for me. I've learned to barge in and say, "well Micah used to do that too," and I honestly get so many different reactions. It is not weird to talk about someone who has passed. You make it weird when you react like a moron and can't keep the convo going. My advice to someone who is in those conversations and is thinking "should I ask? No, maybe she is having a bad day?" You can always say "Do you mind me asking about Micah?" That right there could turn a bad day into the best day of the week for me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"> I hope that I gave you all some helpful tools to take with you so that you can one day pull a grieving friend under your wing and say all of the right things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Please don't fear us, as we do not bite! We might bark a bit, but we WON'T if you make an effort to be kind and considerate. We CANNOT do this alone, and we NEED your love and support, whether you believe it or not. Your words matter, A LOT =)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-52959803534225523032014-09-30T18:35:00.002-07:002014-09-30T18:43:25.361-07:00Dream BoardGrief can really steer your brain away from reality. You become obsessed with pain and you feel like happiness does not exist in the world. You see others smile and you think they are lying to themselves because the world couldn't possibly be that great for everyone else and not you. You are smothered with thoughts of guilt, thoughts of what if I had done this, thoughts that are just not realistic. You become consumed by these, as I like to call them, poisonous thoughts. They grow and grow and grow and before you know it you are a tree covered in poison ivy and you can't breathe. Grief is inevitable in life. We will all experience it at one point or another. No loss is greater than the other. Loss is loss. Hurt is hurt. We are all human and we all feel pain, some more than others. It's just how the dice gets rolled. One thing I didn't understand about my loss or think would ever happen was how much it could incapacitate me and my daily functions. I've come to learn what my "triggers" are and things I should not partake in if it's going to leave me spiraling out of control. It took me a really long time to learn what those triggers were but once I closed in on them I was able to prevent a lot of unnecessary heartache. Like I said above grief can take you down a very very DARK path and it is scary. You feel suffocated, trapped, smothered, hopeless, cheated, and most of all UNLOVED and ALONE. The thoughts that follow those feelings are so deep and entangled it is almost impossible to just stop thinking them. You can't distract your brain from them like you would if you were suffering from a rough break up or the loss of your job. The thoughts are your REALity even though they are so FAR from what you would normally find yourself thinking about. They become your daily focus and now it is completely clear why I couldn't even shower some days. <br />
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I'm sure you are all wondering"well....how the heck do you get out of that hell?" If you are grieving the loss of a loved one my only advice is to start small and do simple simple tasks around the house. Some days you will just go back to bed but others you might make big strides and end up taking those small tasks a step further. Before you know it you are at target talking with a friend you hadn't seen in a couple months and also buying a shit ton of stuff you don't need or you are outside going for run. Just like the poison ivy grows and grows, the same thing happens in reverse, you take one positive step and you find yourself at the top of a hill looking down at everything you accomplished. You feel empowered and you want to do it again the next day. The trick is to not look up at that hill thinking it isn't doable. Don't look up just keep looking down and focus on moving your feet.<br />
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I am currently in that positive spiral effect right now. I never thought I'd blog again but I took that first step and let my feelings out and now look at me go...I'm letting the feelings flow through my fingers as I type each week. It's so therapeutic that EVERYONE grieving should type their feelings. We can type a whole lot faster than we can write and it feels like we are ridding our minds of these thoughts and feelings faster than we ever could before. I am climbing that hill each day and it doesn't feel like a daunting task anymore. I am back to teaching, working out like usual but not obsessing about it(that could be another whole post in itself, maybe another day), meeting up with friends to catch up on their lives(even though those days can set me back because I end up rehashing my recent weeks but it still feels good to speak to humans), and finally I am LIVING and thinking normal everyday thoughts again. The grief will never consume me AGAIN! I refuse to let it. I have worked way too hard to dig myself out of that poison ivy, I want to feel free EVERY day and so the uphill battle continues. My life will never be easy but I have to remember the set of tools I've learned along the way in order to live my life as healthy as possible.<br />
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I recently created a "dream board" in order to force myself to focus on everything I want from this one life I have. I am trying to keep the positivity flowing and it honestly makes me feel so good to look at it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I have complete faith that I will make all of the things on my board HAPPEN and happen SOON! I refuse to sit back and wait. I will have everything I want and more because I deserve it and I want to the be the person to reward MYSELF. A good friend keeps reminding me that " GOOD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN" and I get excited every time she writes me those words. BRING IT ON! I'm ready.<br />
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My dream board list: </div>
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1. Travel the world</div>
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2. SOULMATE (One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else) </div>
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3. Wedding of my dreams (Get married under a beautifully lit tree with a massive heart(representing Micah's presence) on the trunk)</div>
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4. Rocks = BALANCE (doing everything in my life in moderation and not obsessing over ANYTHING)</div>
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5. LOVE ME in every shape, every emotion, EVERY DAY (love yourself first and everything else will fall into place)</div>
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6. Power over my thoughts ( Once you become consciously aware of just how powerful your thoughts are, you will realize everything in your life is exactly how YOU allow it to be)</div>
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7. A beautiful loving FAMILY</div>
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8. ALWAYS SHARE MY STORY (never stop talking about Micah with others including strangers)</div>
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9. Declaration of Intention ( This year I will "find balance." I will let go of the "anger" and embrace the "grief." I will honor "my daughter" and love my "self." I will stand up and share my "heart" with the world. </div>
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10. JERF (Just Eat Real Food) - Real food= nourishing, sustainable, and delicious/ Healthy living is why I'm smiling/Happy taking care of my body/ Working out gives me Energy</div>
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11. ALWAYS GIVE (giving is the antidote to emptiness)</div>
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I hope I've inspired you all to create your own board because we ALL deserve to reward ourselves with EVERYTHING we want in this ONE life we get. </div>
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DREAM AWAY!!!!!!</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-24882778511738647072014-09-20T08:22:00.002-07:002014-09-20T19:53:07.283-07:00Life Doesn't Come With an Eraser<br />
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This quote struck a nerve with me last night as I laid in the bath tub after a killer leg workout with my best friend, Brittni. I read these words over and over again and suddenly something changed. My mind was so clear and my body immediately felt such RELIEF. I had been trying to erase everything that has happened in the past 2 years: the birth of my daughter, the days taking care of her at CHOP, the long nights without her, kissing her little cheeks goodbye, all of the therapy sessions where I was constantly searching for ways to cope, the breakup between Bill and I, the grief we both share that will forever bond us, the short bursts of happiness that didn't last and tricked me into thinking I was finally starting to be happy, losing all of my baby/grief weight to only put some of it back on every time her birthday and anniversary come around, a recent relationship that knocked my socks off and then ended in such heartbreak, renting out my condo and moving home because hospital bills and paying a mortgage alone again after 8 years was detrimental to me financially, I JUST WANTED TO ERASE IT ALL!!!!</div>
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But last night it was crystal clear. All of those things do define me and have molded me in to who I am. I had been searching and searching for who this new Michelle would be but I wasn't acknowledging my past. I wasn't embracing it and accepting my reality. I was running from it and trying to create this whole new better life. Then when things wouldn't go my way in the process I would immediately be crushed because my plans of this new fabulous existence without hurt would then be filled with more loss and more hurt. Talk about setting unrealistic expectations. I was doing it all wrong. But if I didn't do it wrong I would have never learned how to do it right. There is no right way for EVERYONE. Everyone grieves differently but I hope this post reaches someone on the level that, that quote reached me. Words can be said a million times but until you process them in a way that fits your needs, you will never fully understand the true meaning of them. I finally understand what it means when someone says "your past molds you into the person you are today." It sounds so simple to understand but when your past is full of SO many losses you can't possible think that they should be the things that define you or make you better. Who wants to remember the back to back losses they've experienced in such a short period of time??? I don't... but guess what? I have to in order to LIVE in the NOW. IT IS WHO I AM and it is a part of my journey in this world. Starting now, I am no longer thinking that I am Michelle Thornton, the 32 yr old teacher/designer with a bright future and a blank past. I am now Michelle Thornton, a loving mother, an incredible athlete, a dedicated coach, a hard worker, an emotionally equipped individual who can deal with any situation coming her way, a proud woman who will always acknowledge her amazing daughter that has passed, 1st team All American field hockey player, a national champion, an academic All American, (I've been blind to my other accomplishments because of grief getting in the way) and most of all I have become the most amazing teacher through all of this. I have the opportunity to reach such a big audience because of my loss. People admire me for still waking up in the morning and putting a smile on my face. They want to learn more about me and who I am because I AM still standing and I've made it. My audience ranges from students, colleagues, friends, family and even strangers. I find myself educating people about grief, love, nutrition, fitness, life, home design, whatever. It's incredible to have so many people that love me and want to LISTEN. I am able to touch so many lives and I am blessed. I had lost sight of the fact that Micah gave me that special power. Thanks Micah Girl, you have saved me once again. Gosh...what a legacy I will leave one day all because of my daughter. </div>
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I will end this post with something my close friend Alyssa said to me the other day in a text. She said, </div>
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"Funny how the people you think YOU will take care of in life really end up taking care of you in many ways!" When I had Micah the thought had never crossed my mind that she would EVER take care of me buuuuuuuuut she does..... EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It breaks my heart and scares the crap out of me that I was in such a dark place and wanted to erase such a beautiful blessing in my life. But what matters now is that I recognize those feelings and I never want to feel them again. I am equipped and ready to deal with life. I am not wishing for an easy road anymore, I want every challenge to come my way so I can prove, to no one else but myself, that I can DO IT and do it in a way that best suits ME! </div>
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Life doesn't come with an eraser my friends so I will make sure from here on out that I write in permanent ink to ALWAYS REMEMBER where I came from. </div>
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I heart Micah </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-47868697708874638202014-09-13T16:57:00.000-07:002014-09-13T16:57:09.394-07:00Two Years Post LossWell, it's been 2 years since Micah has passed and I just haven't had the courage to make a single post. This page has been the furthest thing from my mind but it's time I release these bottled up emotions. So here we go...brace yourselves. <div>
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It's been a very dark 2 years with some bright and sunny short-lived days. I've just wanted to hide in my cave and not let anyone in because it always ends in disappointment. I, for sure, feel doomed. I was naive to think that my life would be easy after being dealt such a shitty hand. It is such a mind f#$* to battle this kind of grief along with trying to live life. It feels like I'm screaming in a crowded room for help and no one even blinks. They aren't blinking because they don't care, they just are so incapable of understanding the magnitude of the hurt. The feeling that no one can make this pain stop is something I just can't understand. For real.... I can't understand how it can't be fixed. My brain honestly really struggles with this. In my 32 years on this planet any pain I ever had has always subsided or ended with time, whether it was physical pain from smashing my legs with a killer workout in the gym or the pain after a break up or even the pain after losing a family member. The "deep" pain always ends or dulls at some point. The pain I feel now is like nothing I could ever explain and it is for sure getting worse. It's something that blows physical agony out of the water. This hurt has turned me into someone I don't even recognize anymore. I AM ANGRY and I am so sick of being me. I want out NOW. I want a fresh new life with new memories and new beginnings. My skin crawls with any thoughts about Micah that swarm my brain. I used to be a soft, caring, happy, beautiful, lively girl who wanted nothing more than to make people happy with my kind words and sweet gestures. How can I focus on being that person when I'm itching to get out of my own skin every minute of every day. Because I can't just step out of my skin and become someone completely different the anger grows. It gets even worse when someone tries to tell me to get out and do certain things to jump start my happiness again. How dare you! As if you have any idea what's right for me or what I battle on a daily basis. God, Micah, and I all have to laugh when those moments happen because it is so absurd. My situation is so deep and complex that even my therapist can't give me a solution or tips on how to deal/cope. And by the way, it's probably not a good idea to ask someone who is grieving if they are "talking to someone." It's none of your business and NO, a therapist cannot wave a magical wand that will make it all disappear so that you don't have to worry about us going off the deep end. That can still happen by the way. Sorry for the sarcasm but I did tell you I was angry. You care and we appreciate that, we do, but it's complicated. PERIOD. </div>
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I wish things were different but they aren't and this is my reality. I'm not going to be sorry for doing what I need to do in order to keep myself alive and kicking because that's exactly what it comes down to. It's SURVIVAL at this point and no one could have ever warned me about how bad this would be. You all just gasped and covered your mouths when you heard about Micah because the unimaginable feelings of losing a child were so frightening that not a word could have been said. I GET IT NOW! I was oblivious the first year, so naive to what really happened. I actually stare at myself in the mirror multiple times a week and say "yes, you were pregnant, holy shit you had a baby and she's DEAD, GONE, it wasn't a dream!" The struggle is real my friends, but the one constant thing blaring loud in bright neon lights out for all the world to see is how much I LOVE that little girl. LOVE IS POWERFUL and PAINFUL! </div>
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I forever heart Micah.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-44049656452723916552012-10-24T19:16:00.001-07:002012-10-24T19:16:14.690-07:00Best Movie Everrrrrrrrrrr- "Remembering Baby Micah"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This is my ALL time favorite movie everrrrrrrrrrr! We hope you like it and enjoy watching it as much as we do. Of course, the first 10 times we watched it we bawled our eyes out but in a weird way we liked it. Sometimes the best part of my days are when I cry uncontrollably, it is such a healthy release {can't explain the feeling}. I feel like it's my way of communicating with Micah. The weirdest thing is that I have NO THOUGHTS while I am crying, it's just a PURE genuine sadness. No "I miss her, I want her back, why did this happen" NOPE none of those thoughts cross my mind. I just CRY! Sounds awful, I know but it's where I am at right now and I don't mind it. It makes me feel closer to her and some of the videos in this little movie are what make me happy. I love feeling like she is right in front of me. I sometimes forget that some of you have never seen her in action. I wasn't big on posting videos because I was worried about her looking too sick but now I LOVE these videos and I embrace them! She is our little girl and we are so proud of her. </div>
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I owe a HUGE thank you to Nick Marmarou for making this video for us. You have become a great friend and I will help you and your wife with whatever decorating that needs to be done in your home! I am all yours! It's the least I could do for you. </div>
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Grab some tissues.... {<i>this first song is the song that I mentioned in an <a href="http://weheartmicah.blogspot.com/2012/10/signs-from-micah.html" target="_blank">older post</a> about how it always comes on when I sit down to blog- it will forever remind me of Micah "She's all we ever WANTED"</i>}</div>
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We heart Micah</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-81922451937434900582012-10-13T21:14:00.001-07:002014-09-14T05:41:17.407-07:00A FEW GENETIC TESTS PENDING....As you all know we did not get any answers before Micah passed about what type of disease she had or where she got it from, which is INCREDIBLY frustrating. We knew that her muscles weren't progressing the way they should have so it wasn't a surprise to find out that she had an undiagnosed muscle myopathy(disease). Before she passed, our Neurology team sent out 3 more genetic tests and those tests will probably take a couple weeks/months before we will get the results back. We are so on edge about this. We have no idea if what she had was inherited from us. MAJOR SAD FACE! The thought that there is a possibility that this could happen again is devastating. We have talked about us having another baby but we are both very very hesitant and of course we won't make any decisions until we get these tests back. We want Micah to have a brother or sister so that she can look down on them and be the most amazing big sister. She deserves that! I need to post a pic of her because I miss seeing her face.....<br />
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I have had this post typed and ready to be published for 2 weeks now but I was just uneasy about posting it and I finally got the courage to hit publish. Yay for me right? Well, there is so much I didn't say and I'm sure you know why. It's such a terrifying feeling to think that maybe one day you might never be able to get pregnant again or maybe you were the one who caused Micah's disease or living with the unknown and then how awful would it be to have this happen again? This is it, this is where everything gets REAL! Ughhhhhhh........... <br />
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Yes it's getting real and it's REALLY FREAKING AWESOME to receive a phone call a couple days ago from our genetic counselor (who I think is one of the smartest women I have ever met) who told us that they are 95% sure they have determined what Micah had. WEIGHT lifted immediately.......AHHHHHH! I am jumping up and down over here. This is the first time I have genuinely smiled on the inside since....well.... since a really long time. She also informed us that there is a chance Micah's myopathy was a spontaneous mutation of the ACTA1 gene. Translation: it is very likely that this was not inherited which means it might not be possible that Bill and I are carriers of this mutated gene. HECK YEA!!! I wish we could express our excitement into words but it is IMPOSSIBLE! I guess you could compare it to winning the lottery. SERIOUSLY, this might be better than winning the lottery. You can't buy love right? Again, 95% sure so we are still awaiting confirmation but she sounded very confident that this is just a fluke mutation of a gene.<br />
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So you are probably saying, "well what the heck did she have?" Micah had something called Nemaline Myopathy and this disease could have been cause by 6 different mutated genes. In Micah's case the gene that caused her myopathy was the ACTA1 and in past findings they discovered that parents are not carriers for this occcurance. It is like a FREAK mutation and there was a 1 in 50,000 chance of this happening to any baby....WTF? WHY her? We found out there was a baby born in 2003 that passed away at 2 mos from the same nemaline myopathy and he or she had the same exact mutated gene(ACTA1). Their findings show that those two parents were not carriers either .... THANK GOD for their sake! I would LOVE to meet them. There is so much I am not explaining but it's really confusing so sorry if you don't understand. <br />
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We are so very happy and excited for our future now! Still holding onto the fact that the genetic counselor is only 95% sure that this is what caused Micah's condition. She will confirm when the other two genetic tests come back. Who knows when that will be?!?! Staying Positive!<br />
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Happy Birthday to our 3 month old Angel in Heaven! </div>
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We Heart You Micah! </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-44805088373432578202012-10-06T20:01:00.002-07:002012-10-06T20:06:06.039-07:00Signs from our Micah girlWhen I think about Micah communicating with us it gives me the warmest feeling inside. It's a feeling that I never want to go away. There have been a bunch of different occasions that I am going to share with you guys. Starting with my favorite....<br />
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1. My dad had a hip replacement 3 days after Micah's funeral and even though being in a hospital was the last place we wanted to be it was a no brainer that we would go spend some time with him. On our way home one day we were approaching the Betsy Ross Bridge and the weather had been crazy all day with tons of rain. So we're driving along and I look to left as I am driving on the bridge and it's so foggy out that I can't even see the water below us. To the right of the bridge was even more dark sky that had just passed us. We get to the middle of the bridge and we see this MASSIVE rainbow. I'm talking HUGE and its SOOOOOOOO bright. Keep in mind seconds before you couldn't see a damn thing to the left and now we see this intensely bright rainbow. It was so bright that we could actually see where the rainbow started. Meaning it lit up the tops of the trees on the NJ side of the bridge and it looked like it was coming out of the trees. It was almost as if we were in the eye of a storm because as soon as we got off the bridge we couldn't see it anymore. Seriously, it was nowhere to be found and there was absolutely NO sun anywhere. I remember Bill saying "I've been alive for 55 yrs and I have never seen where a rainbow touches the ground." We knew immediately it was Micah beaming down through those stormy clouds to say "Hi Mom and Dad, I'm okay and hanging out with this guy they call Jesus." CHILLS!<br />
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2. The next sign is Micah's way of communicating with her cousins. My nephew Tommy got a super cool remote control police car that he likes to press one button that makes this car spin in circles nonstop...lol. He seriously doesn't drive it anywhere he just lets it circle in one place. So I get a call one day from Holly and she says, "Micah is messing with all of us" and I was like what do you mean and then she said that the police car would turn and start circling out of nowhere. They all were smiling saying "It's Micah!"<br />
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3. Bill and I were sitting on the beach the day we were planning on spreading some of Micah's ashes and we were asking Micah for a sign or I should say Bill was asking for a sign and I was like, "Ummmm you're crazy it doesn't work like that, we have to wait for her. She won't do it on call." And of course we BOTH stared at the seagulls, the water, the clouds in search for this sign and it was what I expected.... NOTHING! So we ended up going on with our day/night and it was a beautiful little <a href="http://weheartmicah.blogspot.com/2012/09/it-will-never-be-goodbye.html" target="_blank">ceremony</a> we had. The next morning we wake up, I'm sitting at the table sorting through all of those amazing photos that Becky took and Bill is hanging on the couch watching the tube. He, like he ALWAYS does, was going through the pics of Micah on his phone reminiscing about all of the fun times and then he comes across this picture below. He took it a couple minutes after we were talking about Micah sending us a sign on the beach. Prior to us talking about that I had taken a photo with my phone and posted it on facebook and there was nothing exciting in my pic other than the tops of my knees....lol! <br />
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So he immediately sees this photo and was like "Shush, check this out. Do you think it's Micah?" and I immediately got chills once again.<br />
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I noticed how bright it was up near the sky and it was beaming down right where we had planned on spreading her ashes. We did it at a specific spot so we always know where to sit the next time we are there. It was so Micah saying, "Mom you are wrong and Dad is right. I can send signs whenever you want." LOVE HER<br />
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4. I have the same routine every time I sit down to blog. I park it on my awesome sectional, grab my laptop from my desk behind my sofa and I put on channel 429 on our TV(Today's Country) and I go to town. Almost every time I turn the TV on and begin to write the same song comes on, and it did today when I started writing this post. This has happened at least 5 times and it's not just any song it's a song we heard driving to the hospital every day this summer. Not only is it a familiar song but every time it would come on in the car I would say, "yay it's Micah's song." I am not going to share the song because you will soon hear it on here in an upcoming post. I would sometimes just bawl in my car signing this song. The words totally apply to something so different from our situation but Love is Love and I loved relating the words to me taking care of my Micah Girl. <br />
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5. My friend Alicia's daughter was doing her homework about 2 weeks ago and one of her problems looked like this:<br />
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Her daughter actually said " Look mom, just like baby Micah." Yup Micah is totally making me smile all the time. Thanks for sending this Alic!!!<br />
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6. The most recent sign was just yesterday. I of course was painting at Holly's house and I was in her upstairs foyer and I thought I heard a car door so I went into their master bedroom to look out the front window. I wanted to make sure if Tom was home with kids that they knew they couldn't come upstairs. I looked and no one was there but as I walked by their bed, Eva's old crib soother started playing music. I guess Eva brought it into their room and was playing with it earlier that morning. I had to go over and turn it off and it scared the bejesus out of me. It sounded like the same tune that Micah's soother played while she was at CHOP. I'm sure they all have the same music but I felt like it was her there with me. It was a good day after that happened. No matter how far away she is I know she is with me wherever I go.<br />
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We heart you Micah Girl!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-62616581215377416712012-10-03T21:06:00.002-07:002014-09-14T05:42:14.428-07:00Keeping Busy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sooooooo.....we all know I LOVE to paint and I LOVE to decorate/organize. Painting is so incredibly soothing to me. I can pop open a can of paint, throw some pandora on and go to town. I have found that painting has been a huge help for me in this RIDICULOUSLY challenging time. It allows me to feel this sense of freedom to do whatever I want; no rules, no time constraints, <strike>I can cry whenever I want</strike> and most importantly I can transform something great into something AMAZING. If you are all wondering what I have been painting, I am here to tell you. My VERY pregnant sister, Holly and her adorable family, just recently moved into a new house. She settled days after Micah had passed and I really believe it was a TRUE blessing that this happened. If any of you know me, you know I was drooling at the chance to attack her new house. I say it was blessing because I now have something to consume my days with, <strike>my sister will let me do whatever I want</strike> and it is something that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to do. </div>
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Sooooo I dove right in! I am currently in the middle of painting their upstairs and downstairs foyer and we have already had the popcorn ceilings removed in the living room and dining room. I also snagged Greg Hanson (my handyman) and had him install a backsplash the first weekend they moved in. It all happened so fast but I am so glad they took my advice and were COMPLETELY on board with my vision. Their kitchen looks GORGEOUS and Mr. Hanson did a rockstar job on the splash! Sometimes I forget it's NOT my house so I want to THANK Holly and Tom for letting me run loose in their casa. </div>
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Before I leave I want to share this quick mirror makeover that I am just soooooo excited about. I snagged this super rustic mirror from homegoods and I knew it was perfect for a certain wall in Holly's house but it just wasn't the right color. The next day I picked up some paint and before they came home from work it was painted and ready to be hung. Check it out.... </div>
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I had a little helper along the way... </div>
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My niece Anna</div>
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Before After</div>
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I am so smitten over this project and all it took was a can of paint to transform this already stunning mirror. Wait until you see it in the space, it is ridic!!!! <br />
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As you can see I LIVE for decorating and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so happy that I have this as an outlet and it is something I absolutely ENJOY doing. After going through what I went through this summer I have completely re-evaluated my life and realized I have to go after what I want and NEVER hold back. This has been a MAJOR revelation for me and I am excited to tell you all that I plan on launching my very own decorating blog VERY VERY soon so stay tuned. It's one step in the right direction and I hope you all will check it out. <br />
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I heart Painting and Micah!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-37106893472789678362012-10-03T11:21:00.001-07:002012-10-03T11:51:55.392-07:00A special Thank You!I just wanted to pop in and give a special THANK YOU to an amazing photographer who was able to capture our love for Micah girl in only a few hours. I honestly don't know what I'd do without these photos. They were really really difficult to look at last week but I will treasure them for the rest of my life. Soooooo, we want to thank <a href="http://www.stephaniesingerphotography.com/#/home/" target="_blank">Stephanie Singer </a>for donating her precious time, ON HER BIRTHDAY, to come shoot our little girl! You did the most beautiful job and we will be FOREVERRRRRRR grateful. XOXO Michelle and Bill<br />
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We Heart Stephanie! </div>
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We heart Micah!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-28890785909173914972012-09-28T17:31:00.001-07:002012-10-03T11:07:30.043-07:00NO WORDS.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It will be 1 month tomorrow since Micah has passed and it feels like it's been an ETERNITY without her. =( =( =( =( We want her back desperately! </div>
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P.s. A VERY VERY special thanks to <a href="http://www.stephaniesingerphotography.com/#/home/" target="_blank">Stephanie Singer Photography</a> for capturing this delicate time in our lives. We really can't thank you enough!!!!<br />
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We heart Stephanie!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-41977198218127985642012-09-23T19:49:00.002-07:002012-09-23T20:55:20.936-07:00Gifts to Remember <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span id="goog_1749746880"></span><span id="goog_1749746881"></span>We have received some of the MOST AMAZING gifts from family, friends, and people that I would have NEVER expected to reach out to us. We can't thank you all enough for these beautiful gestures. We got excited every time we came home and found something new on our doorstep or in our mailbox. We still do (some of these gifts arrived this week). Although we were excited we knew tears were sure to follow. It became a routine for us to open the mail together because we knew we both didn't want to be alone. Almost every one of these gifts had brought us to tears and most of the time they were happy tears because we were so touched to see who had sent them. </div>
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I hope you enjoy looking at these gifts as much as I do....</div>
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This first one is an amazing personalized frame that has all of Micah's digits on it. I COMPLETEY love love love the colors and the fonts/design. The funny thing is I have two of these lovely frames because two friends of mine, that don't know each other, sent them to me. How crazy is that? They both picked the same colors and design. Great minds think alike! </div>
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<3 Thanks Carrie and Alicia <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4KbERD8uxUBij3Y0SkfEe0awRrWPmOuse9T3wtLxOlrKP6GE-VvPkGjCIbMPhukxF5BnQnqH791iCieQSvwDNALxz0Hx29aczxCCxf8P6g-c9z4gLOHEq9M-Qatz0ummFNWizJ7WuWM/s1600/IMG_7145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4KbERD8uxUBij3Y0SkfEe0awRrWPmOuse9T3wtLxOlrKP6GE-VvPkGjCIbMPhukxF5BnQnqH791iCieQSvwDNALxz0Hx29aczxCCxf8P6g-c9z4gLOHEq9M-Qatz0ummFNWizJ7WuWM/s640/IMG_7145.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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This frame is SOOOO my style and I love this pic of our baby girl! Perfect match.</div>
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<3 Thanks Debbie S. <3</div>
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These Willow Tree Figurines are so meaningful to us. I get so much comfort from them. </div>
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<3 Thank you to Mary Ellen, Leigh and Lori for sending them our way! <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgcriVXXup1UmwH6pZo6hJDwyx1SsmdsY4HrR98wcHHpFuLF8K4o6ATZ0dWpwPPa4LvDG8eVonYMXwFh1pQHJG70tagiIE5nXgIWM5jGqCToILsF9mo2xZNz1OGk9naO3p6TnR7SaOYEc/s1600/IMG_7151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgcriVXXup1UmwH6pZo6hJDwyx1SsmdsY4HrR98wcHHpFuLF8K4o6ATZ0dWpwPPa4LvDG8eVonYMXwFh1pQHJG70tagiIE5nXgIWM5jGqCToILsF9mo2xZNz1OGk9naO3p6TnR7SaOYEc/s640/IMG_7151.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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This was the very first framed pic we had in our house and I actually picked this one up for us. I am so happy we took SOOOOO many pictures of Micah. We have at least 1 picture for every one of her miraculous days with us. I love surrounding her with these angels. She is our angel and it seems as though she has found her home with them.</div>
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The night we received this book Bill read the first couple of pages and before I knew it he was handing it over to me so that I could read it. Yup, he read that bad boy in about 3 hours. </div>
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Thanks to some great friends we've received two copies of this book! </div>
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<3 Thank Jessica and Laura <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPo1x2xvtxl7rEjQuMN474Jprq3L22KcaPCGajE6TPVi287QZVMUXFYP3HKHR2jUJ6-l_yEm3hhzktWaCVBsXutjz3VQfFAUegSIj7BOJVRRSxMPzx4izr5qGjPxYSXRsXnBtZBn-V4U/s1600/IMG_6593.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPo1x2xvtxl7rEjQuMN474Jprq3L22KcaPCGajE6TPVi287QZVMUXFYP3HKHR2jUJ6-l_yEm3hhzktWaCVBsXutjz3VQfFAUegSIj7BOJVRRSxMPzx4izr5qGjPxYSXRsXnBtZBn-V4U/s640/IMG_6593.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="426" /></a></div>
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After reading this, we KNOW Micah is sitting on Jesus's lap and hanging out with all of our loved ones that have passed. If you've never heard of this book it is a MUST read, it is about a 3 yr. old boy who was having an emergency surgery and he goes to heaven for a short period of time. His parents didn't realize this until months later when they had a discussion with him in the car on their way to their vacation spot. They had passed the turn they would normally make to go the hospital and they said to Colton jokingly, "Hey Colton, if we turn here, we can go back to the hospital. Do you wanna go back to the hopsital?" He giggled and said, "No Daddy, don't send me! Send Cassie(his sister) to the hospital!" They all laughed and then his mom asked him if he remembered the hospital and he said "Yes mommy, I remember. That's where the angels sang to me." Both parents looked at each other in SHOCK, like "did he just say what we think he said?" </div>
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I still get chills every time I read that part. If you want to know what happens next</div>
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BUY the book. It's awesome!</div>
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While I was reading I was using this adorable bookmark. Yup that is Bill at 5 months. Bill had told me that he didn't have any of his baby pictures in his possession and I don't remember organizing them, as I do all of his stuff. So I asked his sister Sue if she had any and she knew exactly where they were. She found a whole stack and this one stands out in my mind as "OMG that is so Micah." </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK4D2CLOCZfDG0gC5xzcl6pMe0eB6XRJrL6LHD-KkzBGqESeQtcEf7NMNcLqq0D1140V6im-tsLXMFG_xv31BNZ3wyzzcCrHTqtbzkHZ1LMt-B41BuVhhdb1IrZzQiENea5ArlfiU95FQ/s1600/IMG_7176.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK4D2CLOCZfDG0gC5xzcl6pMe0eB6XRJrL6LHD-KkzBGqESeQtcEf7NMNcLqq0D1140V6im-tsLXMFG_xv31BNZ3wyzzcCrHTqtbzkHZ1LMt-B41BuVhhdb1IrZzQiENea5ArlfiU95FQ/s640/IMG_7176.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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These are the only pictures I could find that captured what I see in my mind. Micah looked so much like Bill in person. You can sort of see her cute little butt chin in the pic on the left and then they both have those "heart shaped" top lips.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS1ZPdOUoJpDbkGZRnqPfK6xgZXcgS_VsWujpuUezuBg83TdNi3l_ZU_GXz90zALR23GmiuBgRnxoeoWbYdofWkuhjKML7778f0QRKdJqBQOju6htDlknqTZReQujtjk2W9k52DJ-U6uw/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-09-23+at+1.56.34+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS1ZPdOUoJpDbkGZRnqPfK6xgZXcgS_VsWujpuUezuBg83TdNi3l_ZU_GXz90zALR23GmiuBgRnxoeoWbYdofWkuhjKML7778f0QRKdJqBQOju6htDlknqTZReQujtjk2W9k52DJ-U6uw/s640/Screen+shot+2012-09-23+at+1.56.34+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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This next gift is so much fun. It's an awesome necklace for me(which I love) and a ball marker(genius) for Bill. What a cool way to remember Micah, so thoughtful. Bill, as you all know, LOVES golf and he is out for the first time today playing with his brother. He left saying "pray that I make contact...LOL." We all know that he will and he will probably come in under par(he is soooo good). I'm sure he is using this ball mark as I type. </div>
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<3 Thanks Alicia <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNvPVAvny3NZ4ezBmYrrEpSyl-hbTr8hegPhsk-NotULDuVmeNMaB02SWPCAR63DT3O01VQWwJpF4BH010EmtHp9pa0Jg-MTOrJpyVS-vDTdVUGhlTKl2an5UV82eWvIp__3HruLqAyA/s1600/IMG_6602.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNvPVAvny3NZ4ezBmYrrEpSyl-hbTr8hegPhsk-NotULDuVmeNMaB02SWPCAR63DT3O01VQWwJpF4BH010EmtHp9pa0Jg-MTOrJpyVS-vDTdVUGhlTKl2an5UV82eWvIp__3HruLqAyA/s640/IMG_6602.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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You all read <a href="http://weheartmicah.blogspot.com/2012/09/it-will-never-be-goodbye.html" target="_blank">here</a> why this gift is so special to us =)</div>
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<3 Thanks Shirley<3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyx1oDTjOa-oWqiXUxlenJUuK2u2EuEhR-js0qmUUGjAwBlrWyjB890vDRiTIOERzzKrnyT41AM0G_7rA1IOaKgf-3EPSbOmc0lOwWBFXDyWy0-XAYgXFyprTZIpX9Ycg6xrjdqakIyZo/s1600/IMG_6605.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyx1oDTjOa-oWqiXUxlenJUuK2u2EuEhR-js0qmUUGjAwBlrWyjB890vDRiTIOERzzKrnyT41AM0G_7rA1IOaKgf-3EPSbOmc0lOwWBFXDyWy0-XAYgXFyprTZIpX9Ycg6xrjdqakIyZo/s640/IMG_6605.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Another beachy gift that is fun and whimsical. This one was purchased the week Micah was born and we truly believe that God made our friend buy this for us knowing that Micah would eventually be swimming with the dolphins one day. So CRAZY!<br />
We can't wait for summer so we can go swimming with her and it's only Sept. 23rd...grrrrrrr, it's so far away.<br />
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<3 Thanks Leigh <3<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-JESc_MB_md_XYOElP171NONjBBCxfdbiWH9dGSejs0apscGN_tDJ7ebAMp7wrSMSTrGrr9IdolHMBY0EsS76Up7WsWYmrWu9Cldwa2G02KpcXlEH32SYBkhWETlVjet2VR9H5tJXjM/s1600/IMG_7175.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-JESc_MB_md_XYOElP171NONjBBCxfdbiWH9dGSejs0apscGN_tDJ7ebAMp7wrSMSTrGrr9IdolHMBY0EsS76Up7WsWYmrWu9Cldwa2G02KpcXlEH32SYBkhWETlVjet2VR9H5tJXjM/s640/IMG_7175.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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This poem was specifically written for our Micah girl. Our friend Carol thought of everything when writing this. It says it all....<br />
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<3 Thanks Carol, this means the world to us! <3</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Segoe Script', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 19px;">A poem for Micah...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 19px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We never dreamed about <i>you</i>;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">we never imagined <i>you</i> would come to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We expected someone <i>entirely</i> different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So we weren't prepared in <i>any</i> way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">for what <i>you</i> would bring to our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It has been said that the greatest gifts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">are those we don't expect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And <i>you</i> were exactly that:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Our Greatest Gift.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You came perfect into an imperfect world:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">one that didn't have the answers,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">one that wouldn't explain the why,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">one that couldn't give you what you needed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yet your purpose,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">though clouded in anguish<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">at the beginning,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">became crystal clear:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">you were Heaven on earth,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">an angel with invisible wings<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">sent to teach us about<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">the length others would go for someone in need,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">the beauty in the simplest of accomplishments,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">the joy in a flowered hat,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">the safety of a nap on a doting father's chest<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">or the pure delight of being rocked in a mother's adoring arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You stayed long enough for us to learn<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">what pure devotion is,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">what family truly means,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">what genuine sacrifice is,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">what unknown strength and courage we have<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">even when the odds are not in our favor,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>what true love is</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You</i> have changed us <i>forever</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We will take nothing for granted,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">not even the most insignificant thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">will all have meaning and purpose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">People and what they can and will do<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">will matter more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Family ties and friendships<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">will feel deeper, longer-lasting,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">more loving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And heaven will be a bit closer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">because that's where angels are,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">perfect beings with dreams, and wishes,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and joys all their own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's where they can dance in the sun,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">run in the grass,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">jump in the puddles,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and hold their mouths wide open<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">to catch the glorious raindrops.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's where <i>you</i> are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You</i> were our Heaven on earth,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Our Perfect Angel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We will live each day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">remembering you and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">cherishing who you are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">With grand and beautiful wings<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">you soared to the place<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">where we know you need to be,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">where you have been made well and will be kept safe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">until we can come<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">to hold your hand again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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If you were all wondering what food I dove into after I had Micah, well you guessed it....FRUIT and tons of it. I was still craving it like crazy even after she was born so when we received a number of these arrangements, I was in HEAVEN! </div>
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<3 Thanks MomMom Nestel, Johnny, Dave & Nancy <3</div>
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One of my ex-students/field hockey players from RV sent me this "remembrance" necklace and I think it is beautiful. It was so meaningful to receive this gift from her because it made me feel as though I had touched her life in such a way that she felt a need to send this. </div>
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<3 Thanks Katie <3 </div>
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You are a great kid =)</div>
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If you look up in the sky you can now see a bright shining star that has been named Micah Dylan Turner. That's right people, this next gift is a certificate from the International Star Registry and it states that Micah has her own star. We couldn't help but smile from ear to ear when we got this in the mail. We are so interested in learning about the stars now and we have the Sweeney's to thank for that! Coolest idea everrrrrr......</div>
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<3 Thank You Alyssa, Dennis and Luca <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRkOYcJB82575L8DecR0FLkOWxbJHFwuffT7ohNObLegz-yCTDgYLW8SwlOpDUwSeLhelDmWfeY-JCuFdPwi3aC7JX60ttDbYIlGylexx3cCOdyXtyIqEggvXN2f4qDmT_bC59F8YFRWQ/s1600/IMG_7058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRkOYcJB82575L8DecR0FLkOWxbJHFwuffT7ohNObLegz-yCTDgYLW8SwlOpDUwSeLhelDmWfeY-JCuFdPwi3aC7JX60ttDbYIlGylexx3cCOdyXtyIqEggvXN2f4qDmT_bC59F8YFRWQ/s640/IMG_7058.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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There she is.....</div>
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We can't wait to read more about her star and it's location. </div>
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This necklace here is so tiny and perfect and it was given to me by an old high school field hockey teammate. I haven't spoken to her since high school so I am sure you can imagine the shock it was to receive this. (People are amazing!!!!) It has these adorable baby footprints on the front and then Micah's name on the back. It also has her birthstone, which is Ruby. I <3 it</div>
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<3 Thanks Missy <3</div>
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I'm sure you are all saying "OMG... another necklace?" I know I know but I am so happy because I now have OPTIONS and any girl loves having options in the morning. I know I will be too scared to wear my heart necklace every day to work, so now I have these 3 different necklaces to choose from. And let's not forget about my "push gift" that I got from Billy when I had Micah. So that makes a total of 5 Micah necklaces. I am one lucky girl. </div>
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Here is a beautiful Wind Chime that has the most comforting saying on it. It also has Micah's name on the back. I love hearing it out on my porch. </div>
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<3 Thanks Aunt Joanna <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3EWcqH9l3VLKd9pwCsjR07O7tJg1wkoTkH0vIxDDFa0EqtIaA_R3Jfmi2gdMp4I4tX3A_D9_uhkIl5kRzoPDbZxfFNwqRksioa5naxzVyWoA2y2SkSu_sUo_gGnZqv6jYPNq4WO_COwU/s1600/IMG_6624.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3EWcqH9l3VLKd9pwCsjR07O7tJg1wkoTkH0vIxDDFa0EqtIaA_R3Jfmi2gdMp4I4tX3A_D9_uhkIl5kRzoPDbZxfFNwqRksioa5naxzVyWoA2y2SkSu_sUo_gGnZqv6jYPNq4WO_COwU/s640/IMG_6624.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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We got our first Christmas ornament for Micah! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi4aGNgKYyC5fUUTruP_tu_HbxM0e6ZJBHEmy5ki21KOB-40E7U6aMULOcHN0dD5ucN34F4BPmtrNaPmr4P8AtAKURlRVpWK3jqsgpbVqXxgVzqHRFSMtmfu7fIJa97nOT_TK-QdQx9tU/s1600/IMG_6630.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi4aGNgKYyC5fUUTruP_tu_HbxM0e6ZJBHEmy5ki21KOB-40E7U6aMULOcHN0dD5ucN34F4BPmtrNaPmr4P8AtAKURlRVpWK3jqsgpbVqXxgVzqHRFSMtmfu7fIJa97nOT_TK-QdQx9tU/s640/IMG_6630.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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I lost it when I saw this and read the inside. The words say it all, " 48 days of Pure Courage." We feel like that sums up Micah's entire life. Up until her last breath she refused to give up or quit. It was like she just wanted to know that we were going to be okay before she left us and that is EXACTLY what we told her and then she soon passed. This ornament reminds me of that moment and I think it's amazing how Larissa thought to have those exact words engraved. We love you Larissa! I don't think you know how much this gift struck a nerve with us. </div>
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<3 Thanks Larissa <3</div>
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Here are some pics of the flowers that were delivered to us. They are all just so pretty and it DOES brighten my day when I walk downstairs to see them blooming in the sunlight. </div>
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Thanks to the following people for taking time out of your day to send us these beautiful flowers! </div>
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<3 The Abrams, The McAlpins & The Lutzs <3 </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5_ziMLVqjd99ecTD4-c8J7UFSo-ggY-rOW0Ibm_t5yfE-8eeo5WFpDgSHH0VQKFfOp5YzfrVNQcJ0z9H7OUvd5Tn3QYfup_pS76gAxfHVcaKRC1072LtOKhRGyJDMrb7KDoRX4s1liOg/s1600/image-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5_ziMLVqjd99ecTD4-c8J7UFSo-ggY-rOW0Ibm_t5yfE-8eeo5WFpDgSHH0VQKFfOp5YzfrVNQcJ0z9H7OUvd5Tn3QYfup_pS76gAxfHVcaKRC1072LtOKhRGyJDMrb7KDoRX4s1liOg/s400/image-2.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1O4_wC4kCcGKgGDSwQafW7_GllkA1xlp02tr4GM28vYRavNABla0rbSzM6rwukO4iernMZ-IlvMPhqP0kh8pMT4ak2IMvsR_afZnK8_I9WJZegObVeccpKGNCDGLjjTr_kSOVRsRt8jw/s1600/photo-83.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1O4_wC4kCcGKgGDSwQafW7_GllkA1xlp02tr4GM28vYRavNABla0rbSzM6rwukO4iernMZ-IlvMPhqP0kh8pMT4ak2IMvsR_afZnK8_I9WJZegObVeccpKGNCDGLjjTr_kSOVRsRt8jw/s400/photo-83.jpg" width="296" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5yJqB-EYOcnPC8MwxbllcMmioLaJQAaCMQdcfAKDtSBYdnOkhHhP0mkNxchZOe9mam2setrjsBra8YwF3N6-fMzYDZ1sc4Zhhy486Bwcfy8HHSTNs4xX-YhztXNKWhwAyjlzRhK4lVMo/s1600/IMG_7006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5yJqB-EYOcnPC8MwxbllcMmioLaJQAaCMQdcfAKDtSBYdnOkhHhP0mkNxchZOe9mam2setrjsBra8YwF3N6-fMzYDZ1sc4Zhhy486Bwcfy8HHSTNs4xX-YhztXNKWhwAyjlzRhK4lVMo/s640/IMG_7006.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
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This next group of girls sent me these pink roses and a generous donation to CHOP. They are my brother's group of girlfriends from high school. No.... he didn't date all of them they are just friends...LOL! </div>
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<3 Thanks Ladies <3</div>
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Lauren V. Diane D. Marisa H. Renee S. Laura L. Erica L. Lisa T. Dana M. Krissy M. Angie P.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoczrahYR0YjrpflQN4kR7Drs8PXZHXWmlz_sDSoGs2qakv_mNZ4jQ6XnwJEYonbueuKqER2dAKVBQse_4WIB_K7a_gC6LciWfKyyXXb6a9fiPTVh4zA5QEoI_895Tu68a7dyk6np2IP8/s1600/image-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoczrahYR0YjrpflQN4kR7Drs8PXZHXWmlz_sDSoGs2qakv_mNZ4jQ6XnwJEYonbueuKqER2dAKVBQse_4WIB_K7a_gC6LciWfKyyXXb6a9fiPTVh4zA5QEoI_895Tu68a7dyk6np2IP8/s640/image-3.jpg" width="476" /></a></div>
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I can't forget all of the incredible cards we have received. It is REALLY REALLY overwhelming to look back at these stacks and know that we are loved by SOOOOOO many. </div>
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<3 We love you all <3 </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvntDgMMBROaAnGF93zqNqpksZaeZTESF6sMKxJkB2c9QedpGWz80aduvefZ1NFGsAjKIlIpzHsJyraIcJ_djnC78_cfcxQn41iZn2ZXAgJT27HkCoQXI-3kuwqBqJXOFUZacZldLVtqM/s1600/IMG_7230.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvntDgMMBROaAnGF93zqNqpksZaeZTESF6sMKxJkB2c9QedpGWz80aduvefZ1NFGsAjKIlIpzHsJyraIcJ_djnC78_cfcxQn41iZn2ZXAgJT27HkCoQXI-3kuwqBqJXOFUZacZldLVtqM/s640/IMG_7230.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Yup, these two piles are growing every day and we are so touched. It helps us get through the days when we know someone out there is thinking about us. Thanks for all of your support. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHPmg6LMBhfVRC6E5wJq8mJPWc6w05zJ4_IwZh8BsUdewTU-EGyvN8r_6AmmfMbhGYX-ctLOEVqzamkSIlLUSDNLCfmID810YTfCDt1yB-nqEaRwN4b7FJ8CuWAXqdaNHxqehaocenjiY/s1600/IMG_7239.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHPmg6LMBhfVRC6E5wJq8mJPWc6w05zJ4_IwZh8BsUdewTU-EGyvN8r_6AmmfMbhGYX-ctLOEVqzamkSIlLUSDNLCfmID810YTfCDt1yB-nqEaRwN4b7FJ8CuWAXqdaNHxqehaocenjiY/s640/IMG_7239.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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This is the last and final gift I am going to share and it SURE IS a very special one. My Aunt Cindy, who has also experienced a loss similar to ours, has been a HUGE help through all of this. She has continued to reach out in many ways and one that I will always remember is this poem she sent me. She has it framed in her house and she reads it often. She explained that it helps her and it WILL help us remember that we were the lucky ones to have been chosen to parent God's special angels.<br />
Here it goes.... </div>
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To ALL Parents</div>
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"I'll lend you for a while a child of mine,"</div>
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He said.</div>
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"For you to love while she lives and mourn for </div>
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when she's dead.</div>
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It may be six or seven years, or twenty two or</div>
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three,</div>
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But will you, till I call her back, take care of </div>
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her for me?</div>
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She'll bring her charms to gladden you, and should</div>
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her stay be brief,</div>
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You'll have her lovely memories as solace for </div>
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your grief.</div>
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I cannot promise she will stay; since all from</div>
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earth return,</div>
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But there are lessons taught down there I</div>
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want this child to learn.</div>
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I've looked the wide world over in My search</div>
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for teachers true</div>
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And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes</div>
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I have selected you.</div>
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Now will you give her all your love, not think</div>
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the labor vain,</div>
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Nor hate Me when I come to call to take </div>
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her back again?"</div>
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I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, </div>
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Thy will be done!</div>
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For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the </div>
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risk of grief will run. </div>
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We'll shelter her with tenderness, we'll</div>
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love her while we may,</div>
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And for the happiness we've known, forever</div>
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grateful say;</div>
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But should the angels call for her much sooner </div>
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than we've planned,</div>
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We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and </div>
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try to understand."<br />
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<3 Thanks for helping us remember this, Aunt Cindy! We love you <3<br />
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We heart Micah!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-18598138281658707522012-09-20T15:37:00.001-07:002012-09-20T16:46:20.887-07:00Baby's Room <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Sooooo...... I was having a bad morning today and I walked into Micah's room and I just smiled from ear to ear. Not because I miss Micah or because I LOVE LOVE LOVE this room, but because I still CANNOT believe we thought she was a boy for 5 months. I really laugh inside when I think about how crazy that was. I feel in a way God was protecting us because he knew our fate. If we had made a really girlie space for our beautiful little Micah Dylan then we would be having a really hard time walking by it everyday. This space makes me happy just because of all the love we put into it and it turned out exactly how we had planned, except for the part that a boy was supposed to live in here. </div>
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I wanted to share the final result because I have gotten a lot of questions about what the room looked like. So here we go..... </div>
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I had posted my mood/design board back in March and I ended up using almost everything here except for those blue chevron baskets from Land of Nod and the drawer pulls. </div>
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I ended up finding the cutest knobs instead, you'll see them in a minute. </div>
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There were some splurges along the way and some major bargains. I'll try to link everything in case any of you are looking to find them yourselves. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirnRY7MScf1MWrBDyGf9F3Xsohg80Sm5h8gM9NkVnf1iTwkYjbe9dEBF6xCXx6bpEDiFSoiTQlHYc4Auu4UikAEDboJ-S7SjjQmlQDpGN_mi5A_8ZeORDRId3WVWulL2plECUmPCAnFxM/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-03-25+at+7.36.06+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="630" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirnRY7MScf1MWrBDyGf9F3Xsohg80Sm5h8gM9NkVnf1iTwkYjbe9dEBF6xCXx6bpEDiFSoiTQlHYc4Auu4UikAEDboJ-S7SjjQmlQDpGN_mi5A_8ZeORDRId3WVWulL2plECUmPCAnFxM/s640/Screen+shot+2012-03-25+at+7.36.06+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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TA DA......</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_M9iCJD8ionrfDOCgITJt3h9LDHzmUAQc37M3BMBbE8BdfHd0isER3ctT5Mdlhz06t6eDdLZJy0czOtMVMSACU4aPHvZQZ6Eyzbgeqeveb-7wXEMhYDAsfUHm4n-Cb4rvJb3K_ayXQyI/s1600/IMG_6740.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_M9iCJD8ionrfDOCgITJt3h9LDHzmUAQc37M3BMBbE8BdfHd0isER3ctT5Mdlhz06t6eDdLZJy0czOtMVMSACU4aPHvZQZ6Eyzbgeqeveb-7wXEMhYDAsfUHm4n-Cb4rvJb3K_ayXQyI/s640/IMG_6740.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Splurge:</div>
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Bedding from <a href="http://www.serenaandlily.com/Baby" target="_blank">Serena and Lily</a> </div>
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I had to have it. It wasn't too kiddie and it was just modern enough for my taste.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrVCJ0xpyx-UDKuWKXW9Bjx-Xnj52wSyMqpbb0GVJIljisUdQD9_0-biu4AVtz-u9Pg8x83JhzaB8Pu3z0HWleKuyRlYpgjiZb4N2thLbBRfpRG7zL3914xCp77clPd9HjYQQeRZB2Ro/s1600/IMG_6990.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrVCJ0xpyx-UDKuWKXW9Bjx-Xnj52wSyMqpbb0GVJIljisUdQD9_0-biu4AVtz-u9Pg8x83JhzaB8Pu3z0HWleKuyRlYpgjiZb4N2thLbBRfpRG7zL3914xCp77clPd9HjYQQeRZB2Ro/s640/IMG_6990.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi711qRFiwDGlieR8Z0T-7gF_G6JJ3fvgfeeO-4wGwNOieM5m6MHAqW_NtVbaPXiGinHnl0K1g5JVPuoFsxpLUv1oxtFYfwt9Txd0m-hGGknNUvVZ4G6eiqs-1GYPnXmV4J7_mW1iVq210/s1600/IMG_6994.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi711qRFiwDGlieR8Z0T-7gF_G6JJ3fvgfeeO-4wGwNOieM5m6MHAqW_NtVbaPXiGinHnl0K1g5JVPuoFsxpLUv1oxtFYfwt9Txd0m-hGGknNUvVZ4G6eiqs-1GYPnXmV4J7_mW1iVq210/s640/IMG_6994.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHV1oGYRe9UHB38xCNyJ28YL_FP9xIXViCfdFl4nrqJwZPZO8xXFCZ2bKxHLlw0jhzM3l2GOxm0irMI5uOC-glGf5jevHFtr6WUgyxd4wW7_5CZU15NdsMd6I2DdyuhNqt3YZf8P4O3kY/s1600/IMG_6979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHV1oGYRe9UHB38xCNyJ28YL_FP9xIXViCfdFl4nrqJwZPZO8xXFCZ2bKxHLlw0jhzM3l2GOxm0irMI5uOC-glGf5jevHFtr6WUgyxd4wW7_5CZU15NdsMd6I2DdyuhNqt3YZf8P4O3kY/s640/IMG_6979.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicsiyPWOeWyI-ZjgYjjgyjp25ROCWds-I_etytvTOPMS3rOfv6m2EtPGltRreh_63uu8lpU6iKSBwYU9D4s_j5v3BEHYU2k0ecza0my_rq8i9_22MCG2xxTW0JxTc7B2NEkmL1F90IhaE/s1600/IMG_6993.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicsiyPWOeWyI-ZjgYjjgyjp25ROCWds-I_etytvTOPMS3rOfv6m2EtPGltRreh_63uu8lpU6iKSBwYU9D4s_j5v3BEHYU2k0ecza0my_rq8i9_22MCG2xxTW0JxTc7B2NEkmL1F90IhaE/s640/IMG_6993.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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(I know bumpers are dangerous so this was solely for the design aspect)</div>
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Bargain: </div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Davinci-Jenny-Lind-Stationary-White/dp/B002T1HH1I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348175064&sr=8-1&keywords=jenny+lind" target="_blank">Jenny Lind Crib</a> for $169 at Amazon </div>
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LOVE LOVE LOVE this crib. It's so vintage and mixing it with modern fabrics just melts my heart. </div>
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Artwork from Etsy- <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/73543942/love-lives-cozy-here-11-x-14-print?ref=sr_gallery_3&ga_search_query=love+lives+cozy+here&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_ref=auto1&ga_search_type=all" target="_blank">Grace Hester Designs</a> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGBRidQ18O22UE53GYgKSCSPUpp7OQR8safxc2GYwnN67GzuSI_Pe77hEuUnwfkUyygTIgOSDIvX2Tle62jfxG5o7ALBoJK1DiBUxJvhn-MISrlt81YffLRKz1RltuPqriJkc_LS70c3A/s1600/IMG_6820.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGBRidQ18O22UE53GYgKSCSPUpp7OQR8safxc2GYwnN67GzuSI_Pe77hEuUnwfkUyygTIgOSDIvX2Tle62jfxG5o7ALBoJK1DiBUxJvhn-MISrlt81YffLRKz1RltuPqriJkc_LS70c3A/s640/IMG_6820.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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A little homemade action here. </div>
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Our little boy's name was going to be</div>
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Micah William Turner</div>
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My Awesome Maternity Pics done by <a href="http://www.kristineryan.com/" target="_blank">Kristine Ryan Photography</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_hvTsRJb-r0aqK3k0ofcgxp6gnumgfqHbg2F9hc9NUCDcuH8eMtdF2wT2zAtFLCs5zp_4RdJnesSXYcFzXaO6W-BTCP5JTOAWWkfckkzWK0Z7fCutCdINUS4yhWYGsGRvmSd1Trjhoc/s1600/IMG_6798.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="624" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_hvTsRJb-r0aqK3k0ofcgxp6gnumgfqHbg2F9hc9NUCDcuH8eMtdF2wT2zAtFLCs5zp_4RdJnesSXYcFzXaO6W-BTCP5JTOAWWkfckkzWK0Z7fCutCdINUS4yhWYGsGRvmSd1Trjhoc/s640/IMG_6798.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA9SztF_9zH4fJ_TMUvIHu70_8r90BZ7g3pcmt3XSpxbyBCybqCXz10a1YNDfMDrUa_4BnNrHMtuDIDXjbQ5vHecb-bHcLgPR-4mWoSh7uQuk4dEHRONT_gXwe3f5gxMD2BkQrQAYzaWo/s1600/IMG_6803.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA9SztF_9zH4fJ_TMUvIHu70_8r90BZ7g3pcmt3XSpxbyBCybqCXz10a1YNDfMDrUa_4BnNrHMtuDIDXjbQ5vHecb-bHcLgPR-4mWoSh7uQuk4dEHRONT_gXwe3f5gxMD2BkQrQAYzaWo/s640/IMG_6803.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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We had these 4 frames just lying around the house but they were black so I spray painted them white. </div>
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It makes the photos pop instead of a dark black frame. </div>
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I <3 them</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6zJmVxC9tyK2-4Y0P57XX7931mbRtQy5ZNlbVDJigGaamrKXMtQHnQei9nyOAErPIdjCOcw2SEe70QJ4KzJtG3ekbcwimNqy11Fdb7s4K6nnB6oXRl9Bggbz54li7oCv1eX-TfbTy4bU/s1600/IMG_6971.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6zJmVxC9tyK2-4Y0P57XX7931mbRtQy5ZNlbVDJigGaamrKXMtQHnQei9nyOAErPIdjCOcw2SEe70QJ4KzJtG3ekbcwimNqy11Fdb7s4K6nnB6oXRl9Bggbz54li7oCv1eX-TfbTy4bU/s640/IMG_6971.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a><br />
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A gift from my mom: </div>
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This GENIUS space saving <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Badger-Basket-Diaper-Corner-Changing/dp/B00030087C/ref=sr_1_3?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1348176286&sr=1-3&keywords=corner+baby+changing+table" target="_blank">Corner Changing Table</a> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv6gdYTPBBrZtnqw1GQU4FiwMKKe4GR_G2jv0ESgbCeu-barSsppTVIhamc0_Br2S8Ts_VmLwFlXmkA1Oh7lFjscnkz9KxeFHCBL49bjbaTNy1Z5ycznLm11xhPAAY_KuhgnXnRAPw3rE/s1600/IMG_6764.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv6gdYTPBBrZtnqw1GQU4FiwMKKe4GR_G2jv0ESgbCeu-barSsppTVIhamc0_Br2S8Ts_VmLwFlXmkA1Oh7lFjscnkz9KxeFHCBL49bjbaTNy1Z5ycznLm11xhPAAY_KuhgnXnRAPw3rE/s640/IMG_6764.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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Major Major bargain! </div>
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We saved so much money by refinishing this Turner family dresser. It has been in Bill's family for YEARS! Bill did an amazing job. Unfortunately he had to put up with my back seat driver attitude, "Ummmmm....your not gonna do that are you? You missed a spot. Make sure you don't get any on the carpet!" Let's just say Bill is a SAINT for putting up with me =) I would normally be doing all of the painting but the primer was really strong and I was REALLY pregnant. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FfjIzoDjwwLJHqGp9E7z2HQrPcVToc1_KGYutLkqH5Ka-8lfNNgk-g-tocUW9YktnmN5Yg1UKtBX1M1QD47xJa9t6lMz_9ByMG0lWvP29hdRUNiYVJK7wmtTZ8sVeQ0ROKnnZjc65S0/s1600/IMG_4226.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FfjIzoDjwwLJHqGp9E7z2HQrPcVToc1_KGYutLkqH5Ka-8lfNNgk-g-tocUW9YktnmN5Yg1UKtBX1M1QD47xJa9t6lMz_9ByMG0lWvP29hdRUNiYVJK7wmtTZ8sVeQ0ROKnnZjc65S0/s640/IMG_4226.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrxKVTwTwwPx2wzC3RGyNSgbPttqqOoQpMJC4-awJTUwGuXkLLYH5NQNYA7nyeWMuN3wC2jmpn37YMZMq-sRH5ICoW3Rq0VYoxZk8hWe3u2NsCCf8N9xYdq4oIMi1b_8UPd27Uu5rm7VY/s1600/IMG_4228.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrxKVTwTwwPx2wzC3RGyNSgbPttqqOoQpMJC4-awJTUwGuXkLLYH5NQNYA7nyeWMuN3wC2jmpn37YMZMq-sRH5ICoW3Rq0VYoxZk8hWe3u2NsCCf8N9xYdq4oIMi1b_8UPd27Uu5rm7VY/s640/IMG_4228.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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He did a GREAT job!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijwqEpXNDTzAblPIk-OkaBndB-yxYV0v66-MgedNZSstjCWYJInO8fsJc4LI22NeWQSbAsV_qOmgUKcuTQHK_2JTEivaCXiL70CJNfTvhSIrejZ5QQkEaFSqdNDbHrSmeaomjkYHaxvrc/s1600/IMG_4219.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijwqEpXNDTzAblPIk-OkaBndB-yxYV0v66-MgedNZSstjCWYJInO8fsJc4LI22NeWQSbAsV_qOmgUKcuTQHK_2JTEivaCXiL70CJNfTvhSIrejZ5QQkEaFSqdNDbHrSmeaomjkYHaxvrc/s400/IMG_4219.jpg" width="266" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioFBWilROvno1LJLb0c9ZxdwXBO0621O5eUsVwXFqB_ze1T5mXYZGjC8LjfVi0b1OoMpCGHyhlHGsrE2YxzVyOUBGA0rnePLP2SSJD_JWMdLlHNbouFDjlHJyAFbNQydAkpNWiZUwSSg0/s1600/photo-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioFBWilROvno1LJLb0c9ZxdwXBO0621O5eUsVwXFqB_ze1T5mXYZGjC8LjfVi0b1OoMpCGHyhlHGsrE2YxzVyOUBGA0rnePLP2SSJD_JWMdLlHNbouFDjlHJyAFbNQydAkpNWiZUwSSg0/s400/photo-9.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
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Another Bargain: </div>
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Probably my favorite find of the whole project were these cute <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Orange-Zebra-Stripes-Drawer-Pull/dp/B004LQAHCK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348171021&sr=8-1&keywords=orange+zebra+knobs" target="_blank">knobs</a> that I found on sale at Amazon for 2 bucks! CHA CHING! It did add an extra step (filling in the extra holes from the previous pulls) in the refinishing project but it was totally worth it. These are adorable =)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCK7AqfEU7j3qw1hJrbXLI_SeQSnLu0PXrgPBoIHdqAlyNvcLmoumlG89HT0mTFy0GoYRd1Ca2k3sdSAMo6o1mkzP59IJXo08JGEGrmqbXbtjndL5MMo4eLTqenxLKOFixQHDnK5yUa8o/s1600/IMG_6936.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCK7AqfEU7j3qw1hJrbXLI_SeQSnLu0PXrgPBoIHdqAlyNvcLmoumlG89HT0mTFy0GoYRd1Ca2k3sdSAMo6o1mkzP59IJXo08JGEGrmqbXbtjndL5MMo4eLTqenxLKOFixQHDnK5yUa8o/s640/IMG_6936.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Splurge: </div>
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This <a href="http://www.landofnod.com/rockers-and-gliders/kids-furniture/luca-glider-and-ottoman-charcoal/f8039" target="_blank">Luca glider</a> was purchased from Land of Nod and YES it was a splurge but we knew it was going to be a piece we could eventually use in our family room. We also had some family members that gifted us some extra cash at my shower to help us make this purchase! </div>
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You know who you are and we</div>
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THANK YOU! </div>
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This awesome patchwork quilt was made by my Aunt Cindy. I had some extra fabric left over from the bedding set and I sent it to her and she matched it with all of these other prints and made this amazing quilt. It's so Beautiful and FUN!</div>
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We decided not to get the gliding ottomon because we wanted to save some money, so instead we got this poof from HomeGoods for $99. It gives this room such a jolt when you walk in. I love it and it is the perfect height for your feet (not to mention it is so soft). The gliding ottomon would have cost us $400 after shipping and taxes. We saved $ 300 by making this decision. SCORE!!!!</div>
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I have gotten a lot of questions about these poms because we used some of them at my baby shower and at a friend's baby shower. They are the easiest thing to make and a super cheap way to get a huge impact in a room. Just follow this <a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/how-to/tissue-paper-pom-poms-how-to#slide_1" target="_blank">tutorial</a> and you are golden. They add such a fun whimsical feel to any space. And you can group them together to make a bouquet on your ceiling or you can hang them like a mobile, as I did here.....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiphJA8pabpx7kbuWrP3Zo1HIMC2TNpnXTkdi7sVlEwmK3uB0zjmIPIBWsws5dYQla1sVlYLBukGqfOks-aXn5SVFaZbHURObZWVbwVodOf0phQup_CGXZd1c2OY-4u3uYxzg3fisfE-t8/s1600/IMG_6846.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiphJA8pabpx7kbuWrP3Zo1HIMC2TNpnXTkdi7sVlEwmK3uB0zjmIPIBWsws5dYQla1sVlYLBukGqfOks-aXn5SVFaZbHURObZWVbwVodOf0phQup_CGXZd1c2OY-4u3uYxzg3fisfE-t8/s640/IMG_6846.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Window Treatments:</div>
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We originally had these <a href="http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=117017&COL=100" target="_blank">white grommet panels</a> from Bed Bath and Beyond and just your typical mini blinds. I decided I wanted to keep everything to save money, but I wanted to change the look a little. So I got these <a href="http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Petite-Rustique-Bamboo-Roman-Shade-70-in.-x-74-in./3053194/product.html" target="_blank">Bamboo Blinds</a> from Overstock.com which gave the window just enough color and texture. So now we have a whole new look for under $70. (fun trick: I installed the bamboo blinds(outside mount) over top of the mini blinds that way I can still get full light control.) You can't see the mini blinds in this pic because they are rolled all the way up. If you scroll back up to the pic of Bill painting the dresser you can see what the mini blinds look like. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXZEioKL-4_ExBlxfOFKaBuX-L2hK8YQHbRx5HQYPRunl86zs7NjLyScE0fTmfvw5byyR9dvEehu9eICdVtGbFR-Oz0uU76k02Ik6mvuwzjKqffQaL594ILbVdrE9BRjmymd6D7CK9bw/s1600/IMG_6851.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXZEioKL-4_ExBlxfOFKaBuX-L2hK8YQHbRx5HQYPRunl86zs7NjLyScE0fTmfvw5byyR9dvEehu9eICdVtGbFR-Oz0uU76k02Ik6mvuwzjKqffQaL594ILbVdrE9BRjmymd6D7CK9bw/s640/IMG_6851.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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I got crafty one night and turned this extra piece of fabric (I had lying around the house) into a table runner for the dresser. The edges were all frayed so I got some iron on adhesive to hem all four sides and PRESTO! It looks awesome and if you didn't know I am OBSESSED with the chevron prints right now. I didn't want the lamp or TV to scratch our freshly painted dresser so this was the perfect solution and it looks so cute. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8dDVGRS_aTTNC2FgqkcqebEMCHQbo_ClOMo3Mcl7mRwU5HtEyRom8no9BEO1wXq8pQBrWmtrEAsdGSJo4pIZJIg4mDx-tc9vYqDBwfOuZPA_BXknDy1fRoHvAocqhuLnzfzZp8NhF01Y/s1600/IMG_6927.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8dDVGRS_aTTNC2FgqkcqebEMCHQbo_ClOMo3Mcl7mRwU5HtEyRom8no9BEO1wXq8pQBrWmtrEAsdGSJo4pIZJIg4mDx-tc9vYqDBwfOuZPA_BXknDy1fRoHvAocqhuLnzfzZp8NhF01Y/s640/IMG_6927.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_0gtVtt_pRt8sz9wBUS5zbSXQVFLUy3NX37GKjaKaPPM_Zm5dIGb-4wPk-gNsMIcXaKWNRaGTOUFlpo2zITb2FA0QDBJVbUdGcWR6jAEJ647eF7_SlwHdoDwu8HtA1W9ZtB9-KjoVJo/s1600/IMG_6928.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_0gtVtt_pRt8sz9wBUS5zbSXQVFLUy3NX37GKjaKaPPM_Zm5dIGb-4wPk-gNsMIcXaKWNRaGTOUFlpo2zITb2FA0QDBJVbUdGcWR6jAEJ647eF7_SlwHdoDwu8HtA1W9ZtB9-KjoVJo/s640/IMG_6928.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Another fun teeny tiny project was taking this $2 tin container I got from Michael's and just adding some scrapbooking paper to the outside of it to give it a fun colorful look. It's perfect for holding all of the essentials. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijjjzv_pzyUqAMCVKqhRDXv-nCEBInYFuu12ChJ9MZz8C7ircdpEv1I5WfjMZhBBozZYE6MK4GUCGWeto7MGnppYwDbGtqL93zIaW5nkt3jU3pLYIu2ffiVf_bX4NaBtd2EXvbB5sAzm4/s1600/IMG_6945.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijjjzv_pzyUqAMCVKqhRDXv-nCEBInYFuu12ChJ9MZz8C7ircdpEv1I5WfjMZhBBozZYE6MK4GUCGWeto7MGnppYwDbGtqL93zIaW5nkt3jU3pLYIu2ffiVf_bX4NaBtd2EXvbB5sAzm4/s640/IMG_6945.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Silver plated cup was perfect for all of those baby Q-tips! Thanks Shirley =) </div>
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This basket was purchased from HomeGoods and it is the perfect size for all of those WONDERFUL homemade quilts that Micah William received. (he seriously got 5 different quilts and they all matched his room) I love how I say "he" as if I had a boy. I am still pinching myself. It's hilarious to think about all of the preparation that went into this BOY'S room and we ended up with our little <strike>girl</strike> ANGEL! </div>
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LOL....SMH (shaking my head)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXzkFzbEIaVm-APIfVMUpEKnreh4hxI3cDxjMaCpKCxOOIqTqijlmxtw_teWIP6UnIVF8MdKdfzvFQO4Xv8crzsWL4ktNSg-pPwqZHL65HcjexnhB5mxrmfgg_MawnSX6ROlbwORCngBQ/s1600/IMG_7003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXzkFzbEIaVm-APIfVMUpEKnreh4hxI3cDxjMaCpKCxOOIqTqijlmxtw_teWIP6UnIVF8MdKdfzvFQO4Xv8crzsWL4ktNSg-pPwqZHL65HcjexnhB5mxrmfgg_MawnSX6ROlbwORCngBQ/s640/IMG_7003.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a><br />
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And last but not least the piece that ties EVERYTHING together is this amazing <a href="http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Hand-tufted-Safari-Orange-Wool-Rug-8-x-10/5070560/product.html?recSet=06c4ec82-e46a-47c4-9582-156374b01e88" target="_blank">ZEBRA print area rug</a> from Overstock.com We got this rug for $359 with a $54 discount + $2.59 for shipping. Final price $308.94. Definitely a great deal for an 8 x 10. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ulQABhpsGT9O_MU9lmEUH6yAmacEIZUoSOH-54lTQu85DcLocFEnOTrIJlrtbKrDWBzxyXMysvtgRjjAzW7tZ-pyceQXyh9WcgkoN38woSsCa0jZ2NrLMnBWqORYS0Zu6uOpfiyYYpA/s1600/IMG_6782.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ulQABhpsGT9O_MU9lmEUH6yAmacEIZUoSOH-54lTQu85DcLocFEnOTrIJlrtbKrDWBzxyXMysvtgRjjAzW7tZ-pyceQXyh9WcgkoN38woSsCa0jZ2NrLMnBWqORYS0Zu6uOpfiyYYpA/s640/IMG_6782.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
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Well that's it! I know you are all probably thinking, "Man, what are they going to do with that room now?" Don't worry we will slowly transition it back into our workout room and then hopefully transition it back into a baby's room again in the near future. WINK WINK! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjWmzGUKePD8NP1C6IB2nw8UQSzQ9R6A094O1ML_xWHuWXe0MdGzxVLfEgVJeBLt1tICCc8WNOm1_Mj3FDrVGjTVVQJRShVJV85RTgqS9faA68eU7hP_zsj5Kq9hu6sloDqZHuJhO4ep4/s1600/IMG_6742.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjWmzGUKePD8NP1C6IB2nw8UQSzQ9R6A094O1ML_xWHuWXe0MdGzxVLfEgVJeBLt1tICCc8WNOm1_Mj3FDrVGjTVVQJRShVJV85RTgqS9faA68eU7hP_zsj5Kq9hu6sloDqZHuJhO4ep4/s640/IMG_6742.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a><br />
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More blogs to come.... </div>
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Blog topics:</div>
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1. Lovely gifts from family and friends</div>
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2. Signs from Micah</div>
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We heart Micah!</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-51197644278815183322012-09-14T08:03:00.002-07:002012-09-14T08:38:39.044-07:00It will never be GOODBYE...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6TvcXtHfB-QrSK35pRNMfIAPEQfnPCWGo2T9551tdX6YHTC__-1qxZ1RElpaQrBbznsLi68R3n1pjsYTVgyIV0wqzVzAiuJSa-JJROEtkzpRDjLVjdGmQ7S1Qe-X8VGXSCmJoDR9YeTI/s1600/IMG_8432.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6TvcXtHfB-QrSK35pRNMfIAPEQfnPCWGo2T9551tdX6YHTC__-1qxZ1RElpaQrBbznsLi68R3n1pjsYTVgyIV0wqzVzAiuJSa-JJROEtkzpRDjLVjdGmQ7S1Qe-X8VGXSCmJoDR9YeTI/s640/IMG_8432.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="426" /></a></div>
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It's been a rough 2 weeks and I honestly don't know where to begin. We wake up EVERY morning and realize this is not a dream. It's a horrible nightmare that we relive in our minds over and over again. I don't think we will EVER be okay with what has happened. I feel as though it's September 2011 and I am just living my old life again. It's like I was never pregnant, never had Micah, never stayed at CHOP and never had to kiss our peanut goodbye. Will it ever be real?!?!? I can't grasp it. I try SO HARD to remember those days at CHOP, those late night pumps, those walks across the street to eat, waking up in the middle of the night looking for a missed call from a nurse and most importantly Micah's cry. It's seems like it was ages ago that we were doing those things. Grief is a strange strange thing. We found ourselves so NUMB to the pain that we barely shed any tears at Micah's funeral. We decided to keep the service small (just family) because we were not ready to address the world yet and we know Micah would have had an amazing following. </div>
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Micah's service was held on Saturday 9-1-12 at 11 am. It was PERFECT! <a href="http://www.snovergivnish.com/" target="_blank">Snover Givnish Funeral Home</a> did an amazing job. They had a beautiful collage of all of our favorite pics of Micah Girl and that same collage was turned into a slideshow with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I" target="_blank">IZ's Over the rainbow</a> song playing in the background. </div>
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It was a perfect tribute to her life. We had asked a few people to speak at the funeral and they did an amazing job. My cousin Erin had sent this poem to me days before the funeral and I fell in love with it so I asked her to read it. She was hesitant at first for obvious reasons, <strike>fear of sounding like a blubbering idiot</strike>...LOL but in the end she was honored to speak for Micah and she did an AMAZING job!</div>
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<i><strong><b><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">To the Child of My Heart</span></span></b></strong><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>O precious, tiny sweet little one,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>you will always be to me<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>so perfect, pure and innocent<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>just as you were meant to be.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>We dreamed of you and of your<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>life and all that it would be we<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>waited and longed for you<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>to come and join our family.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>We never had the chance to play<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>to laugh, to rock, to wiggle<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>we long to hold you, touch you<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>and listen to you giggle.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>But now your're gone ...<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>but yet you're here. You are<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>our sorrow and our joy, <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>there's love in ever tear.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Just know our love goes deep<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>and strong. We'll forget you never.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>The child we had, but never had,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>and yet will have forever.</i></span></span></div>
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Here is Erin and her adorable son Jack! Thanks for reading Erin, I love you like a sister =)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVbjxKiKJsnFnttnUjG7lzJLnX8MfzJEGpQnsW6NPI1ph4irZIp6H8RW_BmJhsdqCCEB8oV6PmDj6qyIFQ2m9EL53A6yaI3lC9XS_xvCuu0HbWrzBa93ldu7l0N8m9mFzT2I0icEXDrb8/s1600/528963_3871692627419_1535596629_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVbjxKiKJsnFnttnUjG7lzJLnX8MfzJEGpQnsW6NPI1ph4irZIp6H8RW_BmJhsdqCCEB8oV6PmDj6qyIFQ2m9EL53A6yaI3lC9XS_xvCuu0HbWrzBa93ldu7l0N8m9mFzT2I0icEXDrb8/s400/528963_3871692627419_1535596629_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We had an amazing Minister named Scott Mitchell who ran the entire service and actually sang a pretty cool rendition of "Jesus Loves Me" and "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XaYXEPfGFs" target="_blank">I Can Only Imagine</a>." We sent him the blog the night before the service and we told him he had to read it for homework. We figured it was the best way for him to fully understand the road we had just been on with our little girl. He did his homework and we gave him an A+. He actually had his own experience with his daughter at CHOP so my blog had brought him right back to that and he was able to relate to us very well. We knew right then that he was a perfect match for us. In between his kind words about Micah and his awesome song, my sister Holly and Nana (Bill's stepmom) also got up to speak. <span class="Apple-style-span">Nana was the next reader and </span><span class="Apple-style-span">she wrote this beautiful prayer for Micah. It sums up exactly who Micah was and how our lives were when we were with her (try imagining a cute southern accent while you're reading this)....</span> </span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>Most
heavenly Father,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="line-height: 115%;">Hear our
prayers as we gather in Your Holy name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our
hearts are filled with grief today; yet we celebrate the 48 amazing days we had
with your most precious angel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Micah, has
been a blessing to each of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As tiny
as she was, she was big in heart and shining in beauty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">She touched each of us in meaningful ways
that we will treasure for the rest of our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">We thank you for preparing Bill and Michelle’s
hearts to undertake the honor and privilege of parenting Micah – for the unconditional
love they showered on her – for the devotion and commitment they gave to
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">We are grateful to the awesome team
of doctors and nurses who cared for Micah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">For without their knowledge, skill, and compassion, we would not have
had her as long as we did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>What a joy
and blessing little Micah has been!</i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>Micah was a
fighter, and in her own big way, she witnessed to everyone who met her with her
striking eyes the deep abiding love that You have for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We stand on your promise of eternal life, and
we know that Micah is with You in your Holy kingdom – pain free, full of joy,
and embraced by loved ones who have gone before her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Father, we thank you for Micah’s amazing love for her incredible parents and
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May Your Holy angels surround her
and welcome her home with joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will
miss her very much, but we thank you for giving us unbelievably warm and tender
moments with sweet, sweet Micah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will
cherish these memories, and Micah will always have a special place in our
hearts.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>Most gracious
Father, we lift up Bill and Michelle who need your love and grace more than
ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May they always feel Your loving presence
in their lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We humbly ask that You
hold them close to Your heart and comfort them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Surround them with Your peace knowing that they gave Micah more love
than humanly possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i>Dear Father,
we pray for comfort and strength for the days ahead as there will be many
tears. Continually remind us that ‘Thy
will be done.’ Bless each of us and
guide us as we go our separate ways.
Until we meet again, we heart Micah.
In Christ’s most Holy name, Amen.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 20pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">We love you Nana!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG5-3bW3IWtHOHCFQoHamFGG-2_jYVBPW5M7xgGGPHwtciOOyEVR8dG75rjZpLeOpUoEN7-0IxBhHV0hc0TLHHCciJK_Yhmo52zPd1cEZW2VQnKxFeycbimmVue655_7jf9UQRQyE4b4Y/s1600/photo-42.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG5-3bW3IWtHOHCFQoHamFGG-2_jYVBPW5M7xgGGPHwtciOOyEVR8dG75rjZpLeOpUoEN7-0IxBhHV0hc0TLHHCciJK_Yhmo52zPd1cEZW2VQnKxFeycbimmVue655_7jf9UQRQyE4b4Y/s400/photo-42.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
<blockquote type="cite">
<div>
<div class="Section1" style="page: Section1;">
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
My sister Holly was the last to read and she read this perfect poem. She again was keeping secrets from me and didn't tell me about it, so this was one of the few times that I cried at the service:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"> (grab a tissue)</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite">
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Daddy please don't look so sad, Mommy please don't cry. </i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies. </span> </i></div>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite">
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Please try not to question God, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">don't think he is unkind. </span> Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.</i></div>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug, </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> So Daddy don't look so sad and Mommy please don't cry.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!" </i></div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ughhh, it gets me every time. I think my keyboard is soaked.<br />
<br />
Here is Holly with her <strike>expanding</strike> perfect little family.... <br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBP36Sgh0bxfVIlXg2vdpCZGyQHxujnw_F-my-cLC3mHOqzGZ50eMWcxxeCgT-nZjht8GHHW6vgc-nGU-gPseMX_J3VcEscP34V23lZY3WPbAreCnv6dbRe0Q5Yfq3ADhwwBM4wOnTVTc/s1600/564153_911679555016_420325268_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBP36Sgh0bxfVIlXg2vdpCZGyQHxujnw_F-my-cLC3mHOqzGZ50eMWcxxeCgT-nZjht8GHHW6vgc-nGU-gPseMX_J3VcEscP34V23lZY3WPbAreCnv6dbRe0Q5Yfq3ADhwwBM4wOnTVTc/s400/564153_911679555016_420325268_n.jpg" width="332" /></a></div>
<blockquote type="cite">
<div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
I LOVE you Hol and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, Dave, and Jul. A special THANKS to my rents (parents) for giving me the best family on the planet. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="Section1" style="page: Section1;">
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Moving on.....The funeral was emotional but in a good way. I found myself smiling a lot more than I thought I would. We really felt like it was a celebration. We did not have a casket. Instead, we had a beautiful picture of Micah surrounded by our hand prints, her foot print, a book that my Aunt Jo Anna and cousins had made for her and of course her cute little itty bitty box of ashes. She was also surrounded by beautiful flowers sent by the Burns family, the Finazzo family, and the Seal family. I don't think I forgot anyone but forgive me if I did. Not having a casket there, set the tone. Just seeing baby caskets makes me cry and the thought of my baby being in one made me CRAZY. We are so happy with how we handled everything, it was a perfect celebration for Micah. The best part was we weren't saying goodbye because we know she will always be with us.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here are our hand prints that we did together with Micah a couple days before she had passed....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXjMvxMZCoySEiyN7FF3F1ujVoFBFCGlSYGUuC39a2qLPcLEaBTQglGqU3Rvr2jTvfPr3oLxkKxaUmGNEq74ks9-Jv_sTkBvogwoYjq2O4jkDl5jSjSU_kcmvYwEf6MVPRNCIl1683mU8/s1600/photo-84.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXjMvxMZCoySEiyN7FF3F1ujVoFBFCGlSYGUuC39a2qLPcLEaBTQglGqU3Rvr2jTvfPr3oLxkKxaUmGNEq74ks9-Jv_sTkBvogwoYjq2O4jkDl5jSjSU_kcmvYwEf6MVPRNCIl1683mU8/s640/photo-84.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here is her 3D footprint. I am <strike>obsessed</strike> in LOVE with this, I rub it all the time. I can feel every wrinkle on her foot. Ughhhh I hate that I am at the beach right now and I can't reach over and feel it. Yup, I'm actually crying right now because I can't touch it. I'm such a baby...LOL! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Isn't it PRECIOUS?!?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgut4n8-dZCCH_NmLvSm_7yIhtqiTFfdN7tVwPqXhdXOy8fEUgNxdlrhN9CsxyJqvjFfESMmRUVwrQmXgHjl92Mq6mS3Ac0qeZ11JG7aTbkNAFI0jvfrxs07MOw2rhRjUSyPrVI4VJYHYk/s1600/photo-85.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgut4n8-dZCCH_NmLvSm_7yIhtqiTFfdN7tVwPqXhdXOy8fEUgNxdlrhN9CsxyJqvjFfESMmRUVwrQmXgHjl92Mq6mS3Ac0qeZ11JG7aTbkNAFI0jvfrxs07MOw2rhRjUSyPrVI4VJYHYk/s640/photo-85.jpg" width="540" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
We can't thank the nurses enough for this. They thought of everything! Our brains were so fried we weren't thinking about anything else other than holding her when she was with us. We can't wait to raise enough money through my donate button to really show these nurses how much they are appreciated. We want to buy all of the nurses in the NICU something ridiculously awesome for their break room. If you were planning on donating to CHOP for Micah please donate through my blog. That way WE can control where the money goes. If you donate on the CHOP website we have no idea where that money goes. Either one is COMPLETELY appreciated so thank you in advance for your kind donations!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
Another way she would always be with us was through these amazing necklaces that the funeral home offered to us. They had a whole book of different kinds of jewelry but we knew we wanted her close to our hearts so we decided we would both get necklaces. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5EjNb1FwPwXyyk6Ex5DzIaXMaHsxJp83qbfnGSusRuPDH2hJ0pDCA3ap1Hm1jKt8_eFLRkQn2epdIPXIQ28ePMdku766VAgsMf1-YUQ9rznjtUIztmFLqaMHsVTGK-nO1IGLRGkBFjEA/s1600/IMG_6550.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5EjNb1FwPwXyyk6Ex5DzIaXMaHsxJp83qbfnGSusRuPDH2hJ0pDCA3ap1Hm1jKt8_eFLRkQn2epdIPXIQ28ePMdku766VAgsMf1-YUQ9rznjtUIztmFLqaMHsVTGK-nO1IGLRGkBFjEA/s640/IMG_6550.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
Why we heart these pieces so much.... </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
because of the small compartment within each piece specifically made to hold a pinch of ashes. When we heard this, we were SOLD. What a cool idea?!?! It took Bill a while to pick what he wanted but I knew immediately. I saw this heart and I just knew it was perfect considering Micah's "heart" themed blog. Bill ended up coming across a dog tag which was a really MANLY choice, that I loved. He was so excited to be able to get Micah's name and dates on there too. Now we both can carry her around with us wherever we go! </div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV3d2gyBCp2KN_nl3ObXg8MQgCDKKewZNTgX_41B7GXwju5l5H3maXtNgjs88t1HVa9Q-jxX1FLqxWdiOHfGsXfjNDaQmTc3fB44cwtXnMx0L3Fxy5HdtAw2oedhZ3MS87-l4bPm0Y4Y0/s1600/IMG_8458.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV3d2gyBCp2KN_nl3ObXg8MQgCDKKewZNTgX_41B7GXwju5l5H3maXtNgjs88t1HVa9Q-jxX1FLqxWdiOHfGsXfjNDaQmTc3fB44cwtXnMx0L3Fxy5HdtAw2oedhZ3MS87-l4bPm0Y4Y0/s640/IMG_8458.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
I'm not sure when we decided this but at some point Bill and I both thought it would be awesome to spread some of Micah's ashes at the beach where we vacation every summer. Micah never left the hospital during her short little life but she was at the beach with us before she was born. We thought it would be really comforting to come down here every summer and know that we would be sitting with her on the beach. I'm sure all of you know that our dream of playing with Micah on the beach was one of our favorites and this is the next best thing. </div>
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Nana got us this when she found out our plan..... </div>
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LOVE </div>
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For the past 4 years we have rented from this amazing family that we met through RV(the school we teach at). They have been so kind and generous throughout the past 4 years and to top it off they told us that we could come down here if we needed to "GET AWAY." So here we are at their adorable house having an amazing time. We want to thank them for their generous offer. We love you guys =) </div>
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Here they are.... </div>
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The Teschkos </div>
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Nicole and Kyle</div>
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We got down here on Wednesday night and we will probably stay the weekend. Micah's 2nd month birthday was yesterday (Thursday, Sept. 13, 2012) and we knew it was a perfect day to scatter her ashes. We spent the whole day on the beach just talking, laughing, and crying trying to prepare for what was ahead. We came back to the house around 3pm to clean up and eat. We had planned on heading back down around 6pm in order to start the whole process around 6:16pm. We had mixed emotions all day. We didn't like the feeling of letting her go but at the same time we know she will always be with us. We like to think she is just somewhere else waiting for us. We've never wanted to be "somewhere else" so bad. </div>
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It's time to put one foot in front of the other and enjoy every step of the way!</div>
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Here we go.....</div>
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We are trying to find just the right spot to write her name in the sand.....</div>
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We tried three different times and the waves kept washing it away. Micah always knew how to make us laugh at tough emotional times.....</div>
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Micah's favorite accessorie....</div>
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The most generous girl, who stopped her entire life to come take these photos, brought us these beautiful flowers, Thanks BECK!!!!</div>
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We used some of Micah's dried out roses from the funeral to send away with her.....</div>
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(My mom's brilliant idea)</div>
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We also blessed the ocean with holy water (from her baptism) to prepare for Micah's arrival.....<br />
(another great idea from my mom)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmvmO-Uh9TF8RNfYepJDaD2P5qCzS0Ap_ze5TQvqhI4C1saAWjiYWxeF9zIigcXM0eDabzZ9qOb6XQ6yvdk1Dh2XzAoijRFOyXvds9Emi7zORxpnTnXPHOU79VtaLQLuvCMEoSoplaRq4/s1600/IMG_8672.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmvmO-Uh9TF8RNfYepJDaD2P5qCzS0Ap_ze5TQvqhI4C1saAWjiYWxeF9zIigcXM0eDabzZ9qOb6XQ6yvdk1Dh2XzAoijRFOyXvds9Emi7zORxpnTnXPHOU79VtaLQLuvCMEoSoplaRq4/s640/IMG_8672.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
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The time had arrived....</div>
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Micah was baptized with a seashell and we thought it was only right for her to be held by one....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinReRdqUwcq-Um5rDsIVvCDjbdYxQ5SjqcVuhM_x2-iFvJqK23XabORUCqvAD4nRzILkypIfwJX_A-Y_-VXdIRJ170S2fEem5D2EO9lFdKSNF0bnhkOWlabDb8SQPSRCaR713bArJ1nRE/s1600/IMG_8456.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinReRdqUwcq-Um5rDsIVvCDjbdYxQ5SjqcVuhM_x2-iFvJqK23XabORUCqvAD4nRzILkypIfwJX_A-Y_-VXdIRJ170S2fEem5D2EO9lFdKSNF0bnhkOWlabDb8SQPSRCaR713bArJ1nRE/s640/IMG_8456.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOC5UzDcMu4KV5nS_N52BJk6RJXwVJNFcpEhya65P7MVFGFWTx-Ne5vE-4XK4qMZ9cVonCQf0qdb_XJphXl6dsryUOgcpQzhO_vk2AqXcaOFsLOn7h2OcWzPx-CMjufUME9LttbYexfUA/s1600/IMG_8655.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOC5UzDcMu4KV5nS_N52BJk6RJXwVJNFcpEhya65P7MVFGFWTx-Ne5vE-4XK4qMZ9cVonCQf0qdb_XJphXl6dsryUOgcpQzhO_vk2AqXcaOFsLOn7h2OcWzPx-CMjufUME9LttbYexfUA/s640/IMG_8655.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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We don't have pictures of us scattering her ashes because we took a video instead. Don't worry you will get to see the video eventually. We are doing something special with it. Stay tuned....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwh0IC0QpPovSPGDJugzwHGE1UbCBCWxjIi444SL70CaTQstvVlol90cYsbum6xcgMt6-i5FidNTlUso-Wmy9ciVjqjz6Li2wuPYGkVojP1voKpLro6ctvku3KmPgCrQlLcEM9P96BHx0/s1600/IMG_8669.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwh0IC0QpPovSPGDJugzwHGE1UbCBCWxjIi444SL70CaTQstvVlol90cYsbum6xcgMt6-i5FidNTlUso-Wmy9ciVjqjz6Li2wuPYGkVojP1voKpLro6ctvku3KmPgCrQlLcEM9P96BHx0/s640/IMG_8669.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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One of my favorite pics= True <strike>pain</strike> emotion (watching the video)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje32iJ1D7-xMbyfXnEIMow9kELF32hcLQ2ff_lMSVQ70rVeV_KYMLInGTAU8wLBwnrzdetpjEyzIOm-5IbBxQ2tBQrc7NJ3lq5564lDzd4BMXU8h-4H-PrYOXtrNOutONTei3QWeP8mfc/s1600/IMG_8687.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje32iJ1D7-xMbyfXnEIMow9kELF32hcLQ2ff_lMSVQ70rVeV_KYMLInGTAU8wLBwnrzdetpjEyzIOm-5IbBxQ2tBQrc7NJ3lq5564lDzd4BMXU8h-4H-PrYOXtrNOutONTei3QWeP8mfc/s640/IMG_8687.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi6UG30_0z-MGYo6Ci-5e1lOeJ1hxL3G-TvGfQL0MNw8ZohQXnhqbLKLiTsL5kH8bTy7Bn8Luq-IE35oxv0TjlpYmg6ch-w5ZJ85YMR578VBaoYXDe0caS3HH5Cs34h9348Vx7WYhID8Y/s1600/IMG_8692.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi6UG30_0z-MGYo6Ci-5e1lOeJ1hxL3G-TvGfQL0MNw8ZohQXnhqbLKLiTsL5kH8bTy7Bn8Luq-IE35oxv0TjlpYmg6ch-w5ZJ85YMR578VBaoYXDe0caS3HH5Cs34h9348Vx7WYhID8Y/s640/IMG_8692.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0L5eops4ZRDwPpzAqfCZe663ai3u49zXgYaljaEFujC_AMqwilb47vln86u1J-avadsqxJhlUbiKwqdi2lyW2IdApiHhoUdVyzaqqnQ8cU4_uQRx4kYSreVabKk_UaaUDRLS9hNP4jEQ/s1600/IMG_8691.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0L5eops4ZRDwPpzAqfCZe663ai3u49zXgYaljaEFujC_AMqwilb47vln86u1J-avadsqxJhlUbiKwqdi2lyW2IdApiHhoUdVyzaqqnQ8cU4_uQRx4kYSreVabKk_UaaUDRLS9hNP4jEQ/s640/IMG_8691.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Cute but awkward pic of us about to kiss. I would normally delete this but there was something about it. I like to imagine that Micah is squeezing her big lips in between us! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQGadusbKanmI-RXq8TLp6goE4clk27YjUXR3WwPLQW72tHiNiXlaYK9NeGIbp_sVsCsOCj4j7aJvUnT28mUY8flSufdAzYNXzT-b2sDRF7nHPGbaU_yX3CryKpTiAOYAiOKt6-rTY4Mw/s1600/IMG_8466.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQGadusbKanmI-RXq8TLp6goE4clk27YjUXR3WwPLQW72tHiNiXlaYK9NeGIbp_sVsCsOCj4j7aJvUnT28mUY8flSufdAzYNXzT-b2sDRF7nHPGbaU_yX3CryKpTiAOYAiOKt6-rTY4Mw/s640/IMG_8466.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a><br />
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See ya soon Micah Girl.....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVeqUtasl2MrP7DxUGoYGPByGPo69_U2mhwbtmzIrNeMNJf5KiyVDmshacOSuNwpSgWIkfFpxwIqxupyr5G2iNBI-WyfUt_r7cMMajJ3Zp1DGllqMunRxa4L1p7tx7-CzMpPgJe-jDE-A/s1600/IMG_8475.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVeqUtasl2MrP7DxUGoYGPByGPo69_U2mhwbtmzIrNeMNJf5KiyVDmshacOSuNwpSgWIkfFpxwIqxupyr5G2iNBI-WyfUt_r7cMMajJ3Zp1DGllqMunRxa4L1p7tx7-CzMpPgJe-jDE-A/s640/IMG_8475.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
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We heart Micah!</div>
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A special thanks to Becky(college BFF) for her amazing work with our photos. </div>
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I will never forget this day thanks to YOU. </div>
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Here she is paying her respects to baby Micah....</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-18069471024774835392012-08-30T22:22:00.001-07:002012-10-24T19:40:41.442-07:00Micah got her wings on her 48th day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I can't believe I actually couldn't wait to make this post. I feel like everyone should know more about our little girl and how she has changed everyone's life around her. She has given us theeeee most amazing LOVE anyone could ever ask for. </div>
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Last week was one of the toughest weeks of our lives. Micah had survived her 5th "episode" (where she needed to be revived) and I'm sure you can imagine how much these episodes were taking a toll on her little (already) weak body. Unfortunately, when it happened Bill was alone with her at her bedside and I was around the corner in the pump room pumping away. When I came out, I saw a bunch of people at Micah's bedside and I was in complete SHOCK. I think I was just so numb from it happening over and over again that I didn't even panic or cry. As soon as I met eyes with some of the nurses and I saw the fear in their eyes, I knew they were terrified for ME and that's when it hit me. Bill grabbed my hand and we went to a more private area to just cry with each other. About an hour later we met with our neo team (neonatalogy) and they told us that Micah's episodes were solely caused by her inability to swallow her secretions. Her diaphragm seemed to be getting weaker with each event. This was DEVASTATING to hear. The plan was to let her rest and then meet with neurology later in the week to discuss the results of the muscle biopsy. (we were praying so hard for a miracle) </div>
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The following day Lauren (one of Micah's favorite nurses among many) dressed her in this adorable red "daddy and me" onesie with the bow to match. She knew after what Bill had gone through the day before that he needed to see her in that outfit. They are so considerate of our feelings all the time. I already miss our TEAM 4 nurses sooooooo much. </div>
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Here she is.....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZA7qu-xspmZqieqAjEwGVa1YDZPqu6beiHtq3lrmYtHRLAgI5Ras2eAsmNqniCzhXxZ-e4HO_H9TJgtC8b2avLzMaYE_idpG_Uv6LgR2LqDeY8lIUvrpC-Q34yp-p2tzm5io-SqHeHKM/s1600/photo-75.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZA7qu-xspmZqieqAjEwGVa1YDZPqu6beiHtq3lrmYtHRLAgI5Ras2eAsmNqniCzhXxZ-e4HO_H9TJgtC8b2avLzMaYE_idpG_Uv6LgR2LqDeY8lIUvrpC-Q34yp-p2tzm5io-SqHeHKM/s640/photo-75.jpg" width="524" /></a></div>
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Friday came and we had to meet with our neo team and the neurologists. I will never forget this meeting for as long as I live. We were told that the muscle biopsy results came back and they were not specific. UGHHHH...no answers again! What the heck caused her to be like this? I am so sick of asking that question. WHY?????? Why Micah? She doesn't deserve this. All they could tell us was that Micah's myopathy (muscle disorder) wasn't the type of myopathy to improve. Therefore, she could always be like this or she could eventually get worse. I again was so numb from everything that I didn't cry until we left that meeting. Were they saying she was going to die if she had another episode? The UNKNOWN was absolutely horrible. We then began to talk about the things we wanted to do in order to prepare Micah and ourselves for her passing, god forbid something happen. </div>
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My sister, Holly, and my mom both had mentioned baptizing her so we decided we needed to do that ASAP. The next day just happened to be Sunday so it worked out perfectly. The night before my mom went to search for the <strike>smallest</strike> most beautiful white dress she could find. Of course she bought a headband to match and a headband isn't complete without a bow <3 THANKS KAR!!!!</div>
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The baptism was so very special and she looked absolutely adorable in white. We layed her on a prayer shawl that her Nana had made for her a couple weeks ago. It is the most beautiful shawl I've ever seen and I will forever wrap myself in it and think of Micah. The nurses made our day so special...a BIG BIG thank you to ANNE for getting us candles and a cute seashell to pour the holy water out of. We really appreciated it. </div>
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Here are some pics of Micah's special day.....</div>
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After Micah's last episode she seemed to be getting weaker and weaker. She was sleeping more than usual and still wasn't gaining any weight. She had only gained a couple ounces since she was born. She was our little skinny minny but was still putting up a fight....</div>
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Micah had another episode on Wednesday around 6pm. She took her last breath at 6:16pm. We held her so tight and let her know it was okay and that there are plenty of wonderful people up there waiting for her. </div>
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On Micah's final day she was so blessed to have Bri taking care of her. Bri had become very close to our whole family and we will continue to keep in touch with her. We CAN'T thank her enough for EVERYTHING and she knows exactly what we are talking about. </div>
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Micah HEARTS Bri <3</div>
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Our little peanut was alive for 48 days and those were the best 48 days of our lives. I still can't believe we won't be waking up tomorrow and driving to CHOP to see her beautiful face. She is in a MUCH MUCH better place now and is probably running around barefoot in the grass. At least that's how Bill and I like to imagine her =) She has been called an angel so many times in her short lived life but it is so true. We just didn't think she'd fly away so soon. We were so INCREDIBLY lucky to have been chosen to be her parents. I'm pretty sure you all remember that Micah's favorite number was 13 because of her birth numbers (7-13-12, 6 lbs 13 oz, 1300 military time). </div>
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Well if you add up all of the numbers in her time of death(6:16pm), guess what they add up to? </div>
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Coincidence? I think NOT! There has never been a dull moment with this little momma. </div>
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She kept us on our toes constantly and we LOVE her for that.</div>
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Here is a sweet pic of her peacefully sleeping in her <strike>daddy's</strike> hero's arms. She adored Bill in every way possible and I am so lucky I was able to witness that. </div>
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Micah has never spoken a word </div>
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but speaks volumes with her eyes. We can't thank GOD enough for this. </div>
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Her eyes will forever be engraved in our hearts. </div>
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Rest in Peace Sweetie!</div>
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We will NEVER stop HEARTING Micah!</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-13672140805554891412012-08-19T21:40:00.001-07:002012-08-19T21:40:38.758-07:00My 30th Birthday <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The BEST birthday gift ever is this little peanut but an even better gift was being able to finally hold her and hear her cry after 2 days of not being able to do either. This is me holding her on Saturday after she had just been extubated! </div>
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You can just see the exhaustion in her eyes...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwzm2oMZpMBy8Qb78m6qCJQZa2LxjCBo7L7JmQux5V46P4fi08sp4zNdp7w4EHjlgmSRUgv8vA1D6nfIyfgIVuyorsUrUg3Dar9pRGVSMIVIhnBGBb70OVQO4iRcEIwgtuZN1BPpZh_50/s1600/IMG_6300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwzm2oMZpMBy8Qb78m6qCJQZa2LxjCBo7L7JmQux5V46P4fi08sp4zNdp7w4EHjlgmSRUgv8vA1D6nfIyfgIVuyorsUrUg3Dar9pRGVSMIVIhnBGBb70OVQO4iRcEIwgtuZN1BPpZh_50/s640/IMG_6300.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="426" /></a></div>
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After she had those two episodes on Monday she had another scary one on Thursday at 2am. We got a call at 4am and you can imagine what that must have felt like to see that 215 number on your phone in the middle of the night. HORRIBLE! I sat up and immediately said Bill's name to make sure he was up before I answered the call. It was the nurse practitioner telling us that Micah had another BAD episode and this time they had to put her on a ventilator. GASP....GASP again! The only good thing was that she was still doing most of her breathing on her own. She needed to be intubated to keep her airway safe. (intubation=a breathing tube put into the mouth and it goes all the way down to where the lungs branch out. It will keep her airway open so no secretions or reflux can get into her lungs) After having those 3 life threatening episodes in 1 week we knew there was bound to be something wrong with her lungs. Every time she would reflux she would aspirate and after that happening 3 times she ended up with a collapsed lung. POOR THING is only 5 weeks old and she has already been through so much....what a fighter!!! But anyway while she was intubated you could not hear her, which was the hardest part. We would see her face crying hysterically but nothing was coming out. ABSOLUTELY horrible! Another thing that was just horrendous to see was an IV in her scalp. Her veins are so hard to find that they had to resort to the scalp. When we finally saw her Thursday morning I cried for about 2 hours just because of that damn IV. </div>
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This is her crying for the first time after being extubated (tube getting removed). She is very annoyed by me kissing her to death...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwoOdVTdFcWzpeRv08fHPIuByESIFMVTKIakx7yimYIwRtz-KBGEkuzlWI_0q38HYO0hGJCLNc8p-M6iOaCksdhAUdPORzfTOlOa_lKtYJ5Y0kMsmELxNoACqt7oEh9SsGUYQRuX_hMQ/s1600/IMG_6325.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwoOdVTdFcWzpeRv08fHPIuByESIFMVTKIakx7yimYIwRtz-KBGEkuzlWI_0q38HYO0hGJCLNc8p-M6iOaCksdhAUdPORzfTOlOa_lKtYJ5Y0kMsmELxNoACqt7oEh9SsGUYQRuX_hMQ/s640/IMG_6325.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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We also got to play dress up once she was able to be taken out of her crib. I HATED not being able to feel her warm skin against mine for two days. This onesie was made by my Aunt Cindy! I am in LOVE with it. Thanks Aunt Cindy! Micah was in heaven when I put this on her. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9IztAFUJ6l8qJc9oUyeBgsFl4xSGWjSiYkPqriC8Nl3vAFZE4qh-D6v13CAiJwpy-r2PI6Ehirbo1agtHQ15qKUlzFDMxPApC5R3VRhZOBrE6TUJGdfA4COgu3FM0u2k4bgaYEtHpoaQ/s1600/IMG_6330.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="638" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9IztAFUJ6l8qJc9oUyeBgsFl4xSGWjSiYkPqriC8Nl3vAFZE4qh-D6v13CAiJwpy-r2PI6Ehirbo1agtHQ15qKUlzFDMxPApC5R3VRhZOBrE6TUJGdfA4COgu3FM0u2k4bgaYEtHpoaQ/s640/IMG_6330.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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As of right now Micah is on CPAP, that bigger tube underneath her nose, which is giving her a small dose of oxygen and she is awaiting another surgery to get a nissin. The nissin will stop her reflux completely, it is a small wrap on her flap that connects her stomach to her esophagus. This will prevent anything that could possibly come back up her throat. She can't get surgery again until her gtube completely heals, so it could be another 2-3 weeks. At least this will give her time to grow at CHOP considering she is NOT ready to come home and we are okay with that. She got extubated on Saturday and the doctors looked at her lung one more time and it seemed to be getting better. She sounds VERY congested but at least she is breathing on her own and does not have that horrible tube down her throat anymore. </div>
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Here is our peanut all ready for a good night's sleep on Saturday night.... </div>
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Back to my birthday.....it was amazing! I arrived at CHOP and saw this on Micah's crib. Soooo stinking cute! I was ECSTATIC to see Micah's foot prints. Man, are they huge or what?!?! </div>
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Annie, Micah's night nurse, dressed her in this adorable outfit for my birthday. OMG.....I could of died when I saw her! I love that the nurses love dressing her up as much as I do. They all say Micah is best dressed baby at CHOP! Props go to my friend Cheryl for making this adorable hat for her. You are AMAZING Cheryl, THANK YOU!</div>
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After we left CHOP, Bill and I went out for a nice dinner and then stopped at my parent's house for cake and presents. My whole family put together 30 gifts for me. It was one of the coolest ideas I've seen in a while. My nieces and nephew took turns bringing me my presents one by one. Let's just say I have A LOT of candy now =)</div>
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I got lots of yummy pastry treats today!!! A big THANKS to Dave & Nancy, Bri & Steph, and Dana! I will be stocked for the next couple of weeks, thanks guys!!! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZ_sa5UgJrmahLphMTuehe0mHGMwaIdld_UoIg28HUDZXEidwmaB0kv-vD74Y01NGMcnt5oJ4lM9KrYbr936M4PjUYf_mf5UH-q61azYdem-C9jKkbuoJabR1yMJnzuK3MtnDYTDEOAI/s1600/IMG_6408.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZ_sa5UgJrmahLphMTuehe0mHGMwaIdld_UoIg28HUDZXEidwmaB0kv-vD74Y01NGMcnt5oJ4lM9KrYbr936M4PjUYf_mf5UH-q61azYdem-C9jKkbuoJabR1yMJnzuK3MtnDYTDEOAI/s640/IMG_6408.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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We Heart Micah!</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-22338411237732941672012-08-18T15:00:00.000-07:002012-08-18T15:00:58.013-07:00OH HOW WE LOVE MICAH'S NURSES....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
After the LONG week we had with Micah's multiple episodes, I felt like the only thing that we could do to make us feel better was to say <b><u>THANK YOU</u></b> to our fabulous team of nurses. Micah is SO LUCKY to have such an amazing group of people taking care of her. </div>
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Bill and I decided we had to do something special for them, so we stocked them up on CANDY <strike>because I wanted to nibble on some</strike> because we know as soon as they get 8 hours into their 12 hour shift they need a little pick me up. They loved it so much and they were so appreciative. We put together a pretty good selection of candy, along with a card from Bill and I, and then Micah put this "little" something together for them too..... </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzroWczOxsde5_Tf0n8-CmFd3chifviP_bWyIu62ajIRCguui-TmVEYbET1V1VFnalEOx99Q4A-zo7wDq9L_PtdsMzV2k6ssukb-bqc2OjTM4XvQ0ujYVvyheKGxLDSEnTxkFjP7LU0yw/s1600/IMG_6289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzroWczOxsde5_Tf0n8-CmFd3chifviP_bWyIu62ajIRCguui-TmVEYbET1V1VFnalEOx99Q4A-zo7wDq9L_PtdsMzV2k6ssukb-bqc2OjTM4XvQ0ujYVvyheKGxLDSEnTxkFjP7LU0yw/s640/IMG_6289.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8QQCO97w4oMlUKCTIRFRrjoO_ve9ee92cTjzUUs02dT86Y9cyy0pFckpgfGOiV3LQFgfF6h0C2uA7cA-LUDOsWAxjJ8q_jBJukf8n_rxCWF8r_WlWiaZBdq6eAGk8CTT2zu7i1FiBXdU/s1600/IMG_6290.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="504" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8QQCO97w4oMlUKCTIRFRrjoO_ve9ee92cTjzUUs02dT86Y9cyy0pFckpgfGOiV3LQFgfF6h0C2uA7cA-LUDOsWAxjJ8q_jBJukf8n_rxCWF8r_WlWiaZBdq6eAGk8CTT2zu7i1FiBXdU/s640/IMG_6290.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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When we arrived the next day the night nurses had put this HILARIOUS scene together overnight. Apparently, they were all cracked out on candy and were having a little too much fun with this CPR baby. TOO FUNNY!!! We were hysterical when we saw this. Even more of a reason why we LOVE our nurses. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIx11h_zbi3D9cu79Kkj41kb_LreedkfHHDVzPwTS4T-4znnLZDHUBMwm5wuvaa5XguTnvt37D9BWlPXimxG-gGfNRt6wH3el5PX3GOclS2ZLjEX_8NdbzGPdS4m9ychjlmGXSn9OWYA0/s1600/IMG_6286.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIx11h_zbi3D9cu79Kkj41kb_LreedkfHHDVzPwTS4T-4znnLZDHUBMwm5wuvaa5XguTnvt37D9BWlPXimxG-gGfNRt6wH3el5PX3GOclS2ZLjEX_8NdbzGPdS4m9ychjlmGXSn9OWYA0/s640/IMG_6286.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a><br />
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There are a bunch of nurses that I haven't taken pictures of yet but I will get on that soon. In the meantime here are two of the sweetest nurses that Micah gets to hangout with all day long.</div>
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Thanks for all you do ladies!!! Bill and I LOVE hanging out with you too. We feel like we've known you guys forever. You will definitely be invited to Micah's 1st birthday party. </div>
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Bri (left) and Steph (right)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhou88hFZJn1VPUS2th3E_6ivvjCTV59hRfbWEZYjFWmvIwVUkAeR1mstyOLcO6Upi_MvrbzXpOQuSB2dEy8evHw5IUs6qj86SjnOqVpx_ZliKW5mQAjZ0KWiIrGrOC2wDBGkb0ANCNhvE/s1600/IMG_6279.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhou88hFZJn1VPUS2th3E_6ivvjCTV59hRfbWEZYjFWmvIwVUkAeR1mstyOLcO6Upi_MvrbzXpOQuSB2dEy8evHw5IUs6qj86SjnOqVpx_ZliKW5mQAjZ0KWiIrGrOC2wDBGkb0ANCNhvE/s640/IMG_6279.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
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This is Chris, she might be the <strike>shortest</strike> funniest nurse we have on our team. </div>
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She makes us laugh every day. Thanks Chris!!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7rTiW60x8GQEZtnvmcYGKsu7TkLG-Xw3IAEjgQun4x33EJhNpgpn0noS3ax6avaKxdzwpZfmcfsy1Td-ZcA5NBePc-Ae9MFoQqf7Q6zs4GQXa9qVCLrxhqq4qPlqo5Oyq7bMAO5CXlFc/s1600/IMG_6284.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7rTiW60x8GQEZtnvmcYGKsu7TkLG-Xw3IAEjgQun4x33EJhNpgpn0noS3ax6avaKxdzwpZfmcfsy1Td-ZcA5NBePc-Ae9MFoQqf7Q6zs4GQXa9qVCLrxhqq4qPlqo5Oyq7bMAO5CXlFc/s640/IMG_6284.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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And here is Micah's life saver, Lauren! Micah would not be here if it wasn't for Lauren and her amazing nursing skills. We DEFINITELY heart Lauren! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOZNsvEEd84R5cbBL_xapL8UuAipi46dYBijaMWD6GoMMQrPwjY0AiY5_zh7mSFM4O8flNJYU-NgxPQpmfZvYXy5jlyMijyTDHZBXL7ORbLSQr4TdiUHHx-F-cI-xDmIjNSKnZCnSABTs/s1600/IMG_6282.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOZNsvEEd84R5cbBL_xapL8UuAipi46dYBijaMWD6GoMMQrPwjY0AiY5_zh7mSFM4O8flNJYU-NgxPQpmfZvYXy5jlyMijyTDHZBXL7ORbLSQr4TdiUHHx-F-cI-xDmIjNSKnZCnSABTs/s640/IMG_6282.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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We Heart Micah's Nurses!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02669491341399102095noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7684065551371476461.post-50272959892096610712012-08-14T20:46:00.001-07:002012-08-14T20:55:30.104-07:00SAVING A LIFE.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This post title says it all. Micah's LIFE was SAVED twice yesterday. We owe it all to two of our TEAM 4 nurses, Lauren and Tara. We REALLY don't know how to thank them, there is NOTHING we could gift them that could equate to what they have done for us. </div>
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There is nothing worse than seeing someone fighting for their life let alone your own little helpless newborn. We witnessed Lauren and Tara reviving our little girl, yes I said "reviving." I know, it's still not REAL to me either but what is real is our baby girl breathing again. </div>
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I thought it would never happen. </div>
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When we arrived yesterday around 9am she had already been revived once. We were very upset that we were not there to be with Micah during that critical time. However, after witnessing the 2nd event we were glad we didn't have to watch her suffer twice. It was absolutely horrible to see her struggle for just 1 simple breath that we all take for granted every second of every day. Again Micah is teaching us another lesson: Hug the ones you love NOW because you have no idea when they will be taken from you. This was such a close call for us and every day now is a HUGE success in my eyes. We are so lucky to be able to have her "soulful" eyes staring right back at us. (one of my friends mentioned that Micah has such deep soulful eyes and it was such a great way to describe them- Thanks Voula) </div>
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Momma's never letting go......</div>
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These two episodes were caused by excess fluid in the back of her throat that ended up blocking her airway. We think she was pooling her saliva(because she can't swallow strong enough) and then she refluxed and the combination of both was deadly. After Micah's two episodes the doctors and nurses decided to put her on SIPAP, which is basically a very strong dose of oxygen flowing through her nose in order to expand her lungs. This will keep her airway open and it will push any fluid back down her throat or out through her mouth. Keep in mind we suction her mouth every hour to help her handle her saliva. She is already HIGH MAINTENANCE...LOL!</div>
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This is what the SIPAP looks like. Of course, Micah makes this ugly apparatus look so cute. I love her. She looks like a little baby rhino or unicorn. ADORBS!</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>Happy 1 Month to Micah!!!</b> </span> </div>
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We will make her pay when she gets older for giving us a </div>
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heart attack and lots of gray hair on her 1 month birthday....lol </div>
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We are waiting to hear what the next step is in order to prevent these episodes from happening again. For the time being the SIPAP will keep her safe but we REALLY REALLY need her to start swallowing stronger. So please say some prayers in hopes that this will happen sooner than later. </div>
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We REALL REALLY Heart Micah!</div>
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