Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Life After The Storm

   
Miracles happen all around us.  Some of us are blind to them. Some of us see them but don't REALLY see them. Being in tune with your body has a lot to do with whether or not you are open to receiving them.  My definition of a miracle is when a moment occurs and something happens inside of your body.  You are moved by this INTENSE sensation.  It could be a smile, instant tears, a laugh or just pure happiness deep within you. For example, when Micah was born, the instant I heard her cry I cried.  It was innate in me, I couldn't control it.  It was the purest miracle I had every experienced.  I had just heard the voice of my very own little being that I helped create and nurture into this world. No words for that feeling. If you have never paid attention to what brings you joy in life then it's about time you start. Write down a list of ten things that made you genuinely happy in the last 24 hours.  You might be surprised to find that one of those 10 things could be seen as a miracle.  Life goes on every single day.  Our routines overpower our brains and we just GO GO GO. Through my experience, I have found that taking breaks and appreciating the small joys that come my way really enhance my day to day life.  Things really start to spiral in a good way when I do that. Lately, I have been so overwhelmed by all of the positive things happening in my life that I struggle to journal about them because there is TOO MUCH to write.  Say whaaaaaaaa?!  Can you believe I just wrote that?  Who am I?  I always find a way to write shit down.  What is happening to me?

I know what's happening...I am feeling so much, that I don't want to stop and write, I just want to keep feeling what I am feeling. This is a new kind of day to day life for me.  For so long my grief controlled my every move in life and I had to grind to find happiness.  I had to FORCE myself to see it and revel in it by writing it down so I wouldn't lose it. For the first time in a LONG time I don't feel a need to write.  I don't fear the dark days anymore. I am not worried about the happiness fading. I am no longer feeling this desire to grind for it either.  I just wake up happy.  I never ever thought that would ever happen. I am fully aware that there will always be tough mornings, afternoons, days, minutes, months, weeks, etc. Buuuuuuuut right now I am happy and I just wanted to share it.

I know there are a lot of people out there that are going through their own tough experience.  I want them to know that happiness is possible.  I actually believe that when you have endured something traumatic, the happiness that follows is the deepest, most meaningful type this world has to offer.  I am so grateful for my grief because..... HOLD UP....sorry I'm gonna take a quick break from writing to tell you that RIGHT NOW as I type this I am crying because a miracle just happened.  I was about to type the next word and Micah's funeral song just came on my pandora and before I could even take a breath I had a tear streaming down my face.  I am crying and laughing as I type right now because this is what life is about.  This is a feeling that makes me FEEL ALIVE.  It's proof that my body feels an energy that cannot be explained. The combination of joy and sadness combined into one expression is rare.  It's special to all people that grieve any type of loss. I just had a physical, uncontrollable reaction to a tune playing on my computer.  It's 9:47am on Wednesday, April 19, 2017 and I just experienced another miracle. Everything else in my life just becomes a blurry background in a crisp and clear photograph of Micah's face. My priorities get pushed to the front of my brain and I see my purpose in life clear as fucking day. Sorry for my language but I just feel so powerful with these words.  I am meant for more.  I am meant to share my experience on a bigger platform.  I am meant to be breathing right now.  I am meant to give all of this love I have in my heart to EVERYONE I encounter.  I am meant to teach people HOW TO LOVE. I am meant to receive love. I am meant to open all of your eyes to the miracles that happen all around us. Once you begin peeling those eyeballs open you will start living the most meaningful life and the goods will show up on your doorstep.  You will be a magnet that just sucks all great things your way.  Before I end this I am going to finish my thought I had earlier before that miracle stopped me in my tracks.  I was saying...I am grateful for my grief because... it woke me the F' up and forced me to really SEE me for who I am and what I am capable of.  I still don't know the capacity of all that I will do in this world but what I do know is that right now, I AM HAPPY and EXCITED for what's to come!  There ISSSSSSSSSSSSSS a light at the end of the tunnel, there ISSSSSSSSSSS a rainbow after the storm and learning to dance through it all is one way to go.  Never stop dancing and open your eyes to the wonderul mircales that happen all around us. If I can do it, SO CAN YOU!!!

                                                     Micah and I have faith that you will endure.
                                                                       JUST KEEP GOING!

Here are some of my favorites miracles and moments that take my breath away...
















I heart you Micah!

Monday, November 21, 2016

My Secret Healthy Life Hack

I'm finally sharing my secret to losing & maintaining weight, living a consistent healthy lifestyle and remaining mentally strong through emotional times.  The answer is simple. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN.

I have read many self help books in the last 4 years and the one thing I've read over and over again is that you MUST do the small things every day in order to get "BIG" results. Each time I came across this topic I would have this moment where 10 light bulbs would go off in my head.  I would be jumping out of my skin with excitement because before I read these books I had been doing everything they said to do.  It was like someone was spying on my life and then wrote a book about it.  I was documenting everything I did.  At the time, I thought I was neurotic and crazy but apparently, these books were all the confirmation I needed to change that negative self-talk.  I now feel empowered to help others find success in their own lives. I am confident that what I am sharing with you will transform your life day by day but you have to be CONSISTENT and PATIENT!

In my darkest times I would write everything down. My thoughts, workouts, daily highlights, meals, special moments, etc.  I was slowly digging my way out of that dark hole. I originally started documenting things because 1. it was therapeutic and 2. I always wanted to remember what I was feeling so that if I ever stumbled out of the darkness I would easily be able to recognize the signs/feelings that might bring me back down. If I had the dark feelings documented then I would be able to catch myself slipping and not fall. IT WORKED... to this day I still reread all of my daily journals/logs to keep me focused, motivated and to always remind myself of how far I've come. I get inspiration for future workouts, meal ideas, gift ideas, etc.

Lately I've been trying to find more ways to help people find their own success in life. Whether it's fitness related or not.  So I created this "Daily Grind" Fitness/Healthy Living Log/Journal Worksheet to do just that.(I clearly can't decide on a name for it...haha)  This is exactly what I track on a daily basis.  I can look back to 6 months ago and know exactly what workouts I was doing, who made me smile, what I was fueling my body with and what I was grateful for. It is THE ULTIMATE WAY to maintain a healthy and happy lifestyle.

I just posted this "Daily Grind" Printable along with a "To Do List" on etsy.com to help hundreds of people find success in their own lives.

I hope you will take the plunge and join in on the fun to help me HELP YOU!  You will not regret it. START NOW... life is too short to be miserable, bloated, sad, depressed, sick, tired and just UNHAPPY majority of the time.

Click here and start transforming your life now!


"Think it, Write it, Remember it, Live it!" ~ Shushgirl







Sunday, October 23, 2016

Moving My Body Saved My Life

I cannot believe I did it. Holy moly I never ever ever ever thought I'd ever stand on Venice Beach, in front of a well known LA photographer, take my shirt off and begin posing for a photo shoot.  Living list item #22: Photo shoot with Charlz Chalmers @charlzalexander  on Venice Beach 7-22-16. CHECK!!!!

I am a SURVIVOR!  Moving my body saved my life and these pics represent that.  Grief can take you down some dark roads but just simply moving your body can bring you back to the well lit path. Focusing on the little things like picking up a weight, stepping forward, lunging and then stepping back was EXACTLY what my brain needed.  I needed a break from the negative self talk.  For 45 minutes my thoughts about Micah had dwindled. I had to focus on the simple movements and embrace the physical pain of lifting. That pain was nothing compared to the emotional hurt I was experiencing so it was actually enjoyable. I know... crazy right?!  After one workout I was hooked.  It felt so good to feel something different from what I was used to.  Four years later I still get excited for each and every workout. It's what keeps me sane and feeling empowered.  If I can hold 150lbs on my back, lower it and spring it back up with force then I can handle anything.  I am so incredibly grateful for my arms, legs, back and core because they pushed my mind through some difficult times.
Moving my body saved my life and these photos are not just photos of a fit girl in workout clothes on a beach. They are photos of a girl who woke up one day and decided to KEEP LIVING when most wouldn't. She represents LIFE AFTER LOSS!  It is possible.


























Life is full of miracles!  You just have to be open to the enormous amount of possibilities all around us. We are creators.  We are capable of so much more than we think or could even muster up with our imaginations. Go create the life of your dreams NOW and BE A GOOD PERSON!