A couple days ago Bill and I were on our way home from CHOP and I received this message from a friend. Within 1 minute of reading it aloud in the car I almost couldn't continue, we were both filled with emotion. It was a moment I will never forget. We didn't have the best day and this was just what we needed to hear. I hope you all are as touched by this story as we were. Julia is an amazingly strong individual and I admire her even more after reading this. I really appreciate her letting me share her story with you guys.
Thanks Juls xoxoxo
1st off you and Bill are incredible! Your daughter is beautiful and I will be praying for her and you as you continue to grow as a family. My main reason for writing is your last paragraph of your 1st week at chop blog post. Not many people know this, but I was born 3 months premature, I had a hole in my heart, I weighted 2.3 pounds and I was on a breathing machine for months. I had three blood transfusions and was in the hospital most of my first year. I had mitrovalve prolapse in addition to the many other medical ailments. My parents were beyond distraught. I came out with hair covering my body and had tubes coming out of every hole in my body. I was hideous! I had jaundice, wires, hair machines that beeped if I didn't breathe, it was a mess. The doctors didn't think I would make it, they said if I did I might not walk talk or survive to the age of 5...... I DID. They said I couldn't play sports..... I DO. For the first 5 years I was in a study group for premies like myself, many of them had physical disabilities, learning disabilities, etc. they said I would be just like them.....I'M NOT. I tell you this because I am nothing what the doctors said. And they may tell you what your baby will or won't be. The truth: your baby is your baby girl. Your beautiful unique precious perfect little girl. You asked if you did something wrong... I'm sorry my mother asked the same thing..... But that's not it. You were chosen. You were chosen to be Micah's mother. God knew and perfectly formed her inside of you exactly the why he wanted her to be. And yes, she may not be what you expected but God knew. He created her for you and Bill. In the most perfect unique way. He knew you were perfect for her and her for you. Don't let anyone take that away from you. You did nothing wrong, you were a perfect mother. She is your little miracle that you didn't know was coming.
I won't pretend to know the future or give you false hope. I only can say that you will grow stronger through this. That your baby girl will see the strength and love of her mother and feed off of you and your love. No matter what happens she will be loved and there is no greater gift you can give her. Stay strong with your head up. Some of the greatest gifts in life are the ones you could never plan or choose. Think of Bill and yourself, you couldn't have predicted that he would have been the love of your life, but HE IS! He's your perfect mate and the love between you is nothing you could have known if you were to choose your life. Your little miracle was a gift. She's your angel and she's exactly the way she's meant to be. You are a wonderful mom. Keep giving her the gift only you can give, the love of her mother.
The rest will come one day at a time. In her perfect time and way she will grow and develop!
Praying and thinking of you, Bill and Micah.
Julia and her Mom